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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: my broken heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: draconus
    ASL Info:    23/MALE/UK
    Elite Ratio:    1.89 - 49/101/59
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 751
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 581



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmy broken heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I don’t usaly care about being hurt
    but this time is different
    i loved a lass so fine and real
    and i thought she loved me

    but alass i was wrong
    and now i am in two
    with tear in one half
    and anger in the next.

    how can i go on with my life
    with only two feeling in my heart
    no sorry, no happiness
    just regret and anger

    some one help me please
    i want...no
    i need to stay alive
    so i can fight on

    can anybody hear me
    i gess not




    Submitted on 2007-05-09 02:36:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Cliche' as it may be, your feelings can be heard through this. Keep on writing
    | Posted on 2007-05-12 00:00:00 | by soul_driven | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, for the poem in itself, it's cliché. I'm sure it has meaning behind it, however, I don't want to sit through something that has been done a thousand times before. It NEEDS punctuation. Poems are more than just rhyming, or in your case, no rhyming short tales. The flow is hard to follow. Basically, there is no hope for this poem. However, I understand that people write poetry to vent their feelings, which is great, just don't expect wonderful feedback if you are going through a cliché event.
    | Posted on 2007-05-11 00:00:00 | by katieboo6 | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm sorry draconus.. I hear if you ever need to talk, feel free to speak with me... I know it can be hard.
    | Posted on 2007-05-09 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]
      i hear you!!!!
    | Posted on 2007-05-09 00:00:00 | by Hagar | [ Reply to This ]


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