MY birds are crows and swans I was marrying a couple of my friends on the banks of lake michigan a couple years back and as they began to speak thier vows three swan stood behind me i could feel their presence but being the minister i could hardly just look away during such an important moment After I said the tradtional you may kiss the bride the swan climbed back into the water and swam away. It was my first and will most likely be my only wedding unless life throws another request my way. Anyway I liked this for the most part it has a few things I love in a poem internal rhyme and alitteration. The last few lines I though felt a bit drawn out in the language
" So I am soaring
my soul NOW a kite"
As always do what you will. peace
I really really really really really really really really really like this one.
The birds, pure and light, slowly increase in number. Whoever has , more will be given to him, but whoever has not, even what he has will be taken away. This is a case of "have", and more becomes added.
I really like the ending stanzas:
"Oh, now there are eleven
and the stillness has
So I am soaring
as my soul is NOW a kite"
You use your rhyme very well, and it is powerful. Like a smack in the face.
Wow, how do you do it? I've tried, and it's just not in me to write in the style that you do. Not just the formating, of which I could never get to work for this poem. But your simple graceful natural flow, that just seems to be exhurted from you ever so elliquantly. It's so peaceful and tranquil, as are all your writes, and still they never feel the same. Awesome!
Beautiful write yet once again Tiff
I want to share a story with you if you allow me
Last year when I lived in California I had a Dove land on my shoulder and actually allowed me to walk into the house with her resting on my shoulder
I showed my Dad and he was shocked
I then walked back outside and the Dover preseded to fly into the tree looking right through my window
Tiff that was a very spiritual experience for me and I do strongly believe that Dove carried some kind of energy to me to help me Move Forward
Its like I always say Tiff there is definately a reason The Good Lord decided to create animals before humans