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    dots Submission Name: Flamboyant and Kineticdots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 30
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 802
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 198


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    dotsFlamboyant and Kineticdots

    That warm sweet day
    we spent lying in the grass
    the sky was flamboyant and kinetic
    changing colors and shapes often and vividly
    like watching a slideshow of abstract art.

    Submitted on 2004-06-14 03:58:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this reminded me of this video we have of our band, and as you watch it you realize that the sky behind us is changing constantly, the clouds morphing and moving. it's a trip to watch! it is like abstract art. this poem made me want to just lay down in the grass and watch the sky! i think i'll go home and do just that! thanks!
    | Posted on 2004-06-14 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh wow, OH WOW! For me this is a shiver-down-my-spine poem because this combines two of my favourite subjects - colour and watching the sky. This is just awesome cuddle! I loved the use of your word kinetic. I knew it only with relation to Physics (Kinetic Energy) but suddenly I see the word very differently
    | Posted on 2004-06-14 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      OK, you're gonna blow this off, but I would get rid of "so" and "that it was". Those words add nothing, and that means they detract from the ones that do. Beyond that, this reminds me of my teenage days, getting high and watching the clouds morph into dragons or dogs or whatever. Nice poem if you take out those words. Or at least thats what I think.
    | Posted on 2004-06-14 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      a very unique use of words to decribe the sky...and how you compare it with absract art...perfect...wonderful cuddle...

    smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-06-14 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      your descriptions of the sky are very vivid and the whole poem is soothing. you captured such a little moment perfectly. great little love poem.
    | Posted on 2004-06-14 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      Just crystalised that moment that we all enjoy whether owned up to or not - looking at clouds.
    Short and sweet.
    I usually see the outline of jigsaw map countries.
    And rabbits.
    | Posted on 2004-06-14 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      cool. i love the description of the sky, i've never heard those words used to describe it and now that I have i wonder why! hmm...i'd like to see a sky like that:)
    | Posted on 2004-06-14 00:00:00 | by joe quinn | [ Reply to This ]
      the poem which you wrote is true to me, as I usually watch the skies in a drunken stupor. I feel somewhat glad that someone out there is just like me, for this I honor your greatly. Wo zhen Xihuan Ni Shi. I like your poem my friend.
    | Posted on 2004-06-14 00:00:00 | by SKillz_Heckle | [ Reply to This ]

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