Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Diary of Sarahdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: marray proetus
    ASL Info:    100/F/no where
    Elite Ratio:    3.9 - 24/32/30
    Words: 820
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 1259
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3967



    Description:
       This is something I wrote a while back. I did not finish it. I just wanted to see what people thought about it and if I should continue it or not.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDiary of Sarahdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Diary of Sarah

    What is truth? Is it only the opposite of lies, is it something that people know but wish to dismiss. Is it something that we create....?Ē These are the questions that always come to my mind when I have time to sit alone and think. But out of those many questions the one that distresses me the most is the question of my life.

    My life had always been a confusing blur. Everything seemed to end as quickly as it began. Desires turned into hopeless dreams. The happiness around me slowly sank deeper into layers of the ocean, till it could be seen no more. Was it because of me? I donít know. But I knew one thing for sure, that this misery was caused by the family that I now belong to.

    In my parentís eyes I would see the contempt they bore for me now. Every time that I went to visit them I could feel arrows being shot at me over and over again. It came to a point that I could take it no more and decided to leave them to themselves. I know this decision would be called cowardly but I consider it the best for us all. Or perhapsÖ itís better only for me.

    The other day Kathen left on a business trip up north, as always he wouldnít tell me what the business was. This is what he normally replies when I ask him.
    ďItís complicated Sarah. I have a bunch of issues lately with the employees up north.Ē
    If I further the topic he ends up shouting at me and ends up not talking to me for days. But I suppose to him I am just a burden. But during those days that heís gone my only company is my mother-in-law. She is very sweet and tells me stories of her childhood. I know what she holds for me is mostly sympathy. Because I am going to live my life like she has. She too had been married into this family after all, and my father-in-law seems to be a lot like my husband. I had never seen my father-in-law and my mother-in-law ever sitting next to each other laughing and talking. I know and I am scared that my life will be like that for the years to come. A part of me believes that I can change destiny. And thatís why I am going to try with all my might to make Kathen treat me like a human being and perhaps change even my father-in-law. Just because I am slightly different doesnít mean that I donít deserve to be treated properly.

    Iíve decided to secretly step out of the house and follow Kathen on one of his trips for next month up north. I know that if he finds out Iíll be in trouble. But I need to do this. I really want to know what Ďbusinessí it is that he really deals with. Perhaps just perhapsÖhe might have a mistress who he is trying to keep secret from me. But I cannot distrust Kathen like this. I know that the breaking of relationships can be caused by that small word.

    Kathen has just sent me a letter telling me that heíll arrive sooner than expected. There is a party being held at his friendís estate and that I will be going with him. This will be the first time Iíll be going somewhere out with him. I am a bit excited but scared too. I am afraid I might disgrace him somehow with my clumsiness. I hope everything goes well.

    It didnít go that well. Kathen didnít shout at me but has been giving me the silent treatment. I am not sure what I should do to make things right. That evening I dressed up in a Maroon dress adorned with black satin flowers around the waist. The dress had a deep neck behind which showed my back and flowed down behind me. Mother-in Law thought that it went well with my pale skin and brought out my amber eyes. I wore small chandelier earrings and a choker around my neck which Kathen had presented to me when we got married. I loved the necklace, especially the center of gold that had a picture of a flower on it. I am not sure what flower but I decided that it was my favorite.






    Submitted on 2007-05-10 07:40:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a good story line and generally well written, but needs some work in the paragraphing department. Sarah might also use a little more development as a character, discriptions, age, etc. to develop even more empathy from us while Kathen is something of a strange name for a male character which distacted me a little.

    I like your flower.
    | Posted on 2007-05-12 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    142287

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry