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    dots Submission Name: A Bus Ridedots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 182
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 838
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1256

       Free verse feely things

    It is a definate need to express and communicate.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Bus Ridedots

    This morning
    I float
    and I dream
    and i am courage
    and I gleam
    like the sea
    in my eyes
    there are things there
    you told me so
    I believe you
    because I feel like I have so much inside me that I just need to get out
    so much feeling

    This morning
    I looked out
    and saw
    all the things
    That i knew where there
    and Again
    I got pleasure
    from all the things
    I always see
    seem to know

    This morning
    I don't know everything
    my capacity for knowledge may be limiting
    I want
    to go out further
    than my normal realm of things
    I don't know if I am made for that shit

    This morning
    is just like
    extremely informative
    a keystone
    something very very important that needs to be exressed to you
    and all
    even if you are just a tree
    I'm just happy that I'm here and conscious

    I try to recignize

    so that I might rememer
    all the things I know
    for tomorrow morning

    Submitted on 2007-05-10 09:26:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i really enjoyed this, because i can not relate at all. i mean, really... the gratitude expressed for a day awake.... i've come to expect them. but then again, if i wasn't alive today or tomorrow, how much would i care? but this just seems to be full of hope and joy, and the feelings of self worth... good for you. have fun with that.
    | Posted on 2007-06-21 00:00:00 | by DontSaveMySoul | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this because one I can 'relate' and two, how smooth this was to read. I especially liked the part about waking up and taking comfort in what you 'knew'.
    | Posted on 2007-05-12 00:00:00 | by Halston | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like how everytime you go back to, this morning. it gives it a nice flow to me and ties the end verse well together. i did feel however a bit cheated throughout the whole thing, more or less like you were holding back some. its very expressive but it could be even more so do let it all out if there's more to let out. otherwise i enjoyed yes yes. keep it up.
    | Posted on 2007-05-10 00:00:00 | by lark | [ Reply to This ]

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