[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A Bus Ridedots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 182
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 824
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1256

       Free verse feely things

    It is a definate need to express and communicate.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Bus Ridedots

    This morning
    I float
    and I dream
    and i am courage
    and I gleam
    like the sea
    in my eyes
    there are things there
    you told me so
    I believe you
    because I feel like I have so much inside me that I just need to get out
    so much feeling

    This morning
    I looked out
    and saw
    all the things
    That i knew where there
    and Again
    I got pleasure
    from all the things
    I always see
    seem to know

    This morning
    I don't know everything
    my capacity for knowledge may be limiting
    I want
    to go out further
    than my normal realm of things
    I don't know if I am made for that shit

    This morning
    is just like
    extremely informative
    a keystone
    something very very important that needs to be exressed to you
    and all
    even if you are just a tree
    I'm just happy that I'm here and conscious

    I try to recignize

    so that I might rememer
    all the things I know
    for tomorrow morning

    Submitted on 2007-05-10 09:26:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i really enjoyed this, because i can not relate at all. i mean, really... the gratitude expressed for a day awake.... i've come to expect them. but then again, if i wasn't alive today or tomorrow, how much would i care? but this just seems to be full of hope and joy, and the feelings of self worth... good for you. have fun with that.
    | Posted on 2007-06-21 00:00:00 | by DontSaveMySoul | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this because one I can 'relate' and two, how smooth this was to read. I especially liked the part about waking up and taking comfort in what you 'knew'.
    | Posted on 2007-05-12 00:00:00 | by Halston | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like how everytime you go back to, this morning. it gives it a nice flow to me and ties the end verse well together. i did feel however a bit cheated throughout the whole thing, more or less like you were holding back some. its very expressive but it could be even more so do let it all out if there's more to let out. otherwise i enjoyed yes yes. keep it up.
    | Posted on 2007-05-10 00:00:00 | by lark | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Carry written by saartha
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Shi written by ShyOne
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Love written by saartha
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Yes written by poetotoe
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]