Honeyed rolling mounds beckon
to place my lips
to be taught
tracery of hue so light
with passion still, then
besmirched, infringed by another.
Can truth be
so envious, canker-like
Your portion lies in my caress.
Will kisses solve it yet?
| ha, got it right this time, you should sink in more a little bit,|
you rhyme well in coarse sound, should it be smooth you need to give it more of a pleasant touch, far more than it already has.
|| Posted on 2007-05-20 00:00:00 | by rawpot | [ Reply to This ] || ahh i like it. I understand it and yet am not quite sure what to say. I like your choice of words to convey what you wanted. ||| Posted on 2007-05-13 00:00:00 | by nomad knight | [ Reply to This ] |