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Intruder


Author: siradrian
Elite Ratio:    4.87 - 213 /123 /68
Words: 50
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 888
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 401



Description:




Intruder



Intruder

Honeyed rolling mounds beckon
to place my lips
in sweetness
to be taught
tracery of hue so light
with passion still, then
later,
besmirched, infringed by another.
Can truth be
so envious, canker-like
devouring, souring?
Your portion lies in my caress.
Will kisses solve it yet?





Submitted on 2007-05-11 02:06:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  ha, got it right this time, you should sink in more a little bit,
you rhyme well in coarse sound, should it be smooth you need to give it more of a pleasant touch, far more than it already has.

| Posted on 2007-05-20 00:00:00 | by rawpot | [ Reply to This ]
  ahh i like it. I understand it and yet am not quite sure what to say. I like your choice of words to convey what you wanted.
| Posted on 2007-05-13 00:00:00 | by nomad knight | [ Reply to This ]


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