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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: WHAT REMAINS...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jill Lynne
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 77/92/23
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 1019
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 967



    Description:
       The demise of my marraige...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWHAT REMAINS...dots
    -------------------------------------------



    Standing in the remains of you and I knee deep
    in our demise

    I am left to feel what you would not

    There's nothing I can do to make you realize

    That the fight we fought
    Is fought

    I can't say I didn't see this coming
    I can't say i never saw

    The pieces falling
    apart

    All I can do is see myself
    For who I am

    In the way that you would not

    So I can't say I'm sorry
    For the fate you sealed

    And I won't be a marytr
    For you

    In the wake of all that's left to feel

    I find solace in the truth

    And I won't be a victim along the way

    The way you expect me to

    These things you found unable to believe

    Is the fault of only you....






    Submitted on 2007-05-11 12:54:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Jill, once I was able to pick up the beat of this piece it flowed along quite well. I must believe that there was some modicum of catharsis for you in the release you allowed yourself in penning this piece. I wonder though if it can ever be just one person's sole fault when a relationship hits the skids...I just wonder.
    | Posted on 2007-05-12 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      I really hope that you're alright...

    This pieces relates to alot in real life like 'Mac-[censored]-amen'. Real sweet... you got the expression just slapped nicely into - the pain and frustration that you can totally do without with. Its been a while since I've read something like this.. I haven't been looking around in Es much... >.>

    Your words may not hav created the strongest sting you felt then, but its enough to weave the truth that its the other's fault. Good job.
    | Posted on 2007-05-12 00:00:00 | by RyukiTZR | [ Reply to This ]
      hell ya! id give you a high five if possible but ill settle for a virtual one. yes it sucks to say the least that you have to go through this or anything that causes so much un-needed pain but that is the bite of reality. i like this piece because your getting out what you feel, which is therapeutic and your gaining perspective or at least it seems that way. so rock on and i wish you so much luck toward the future. woo.
    | Posted on 2007-05-11 00:00:00 | by lark | [ Reply to This ]
      hello jill,
    i'm sorry to read you are having to go through this kind of pain.although your poem is written very well it has a heart wrenching feel.
    it has a rage of a vent i'm glad you are leting it out of you because keeping it bottle up inside doesn't do your health any good.
    i don't know what else to say other than i am sorry you are hurting so bad
    i hope in time everything will work out for the best for you in the end take care jill
    | Posted on 2007-05-11 00:00:00 | by deluka | [ Reply to This ]


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