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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Amalgamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Guernica
    ASL Info:    17/male
    Elite Ratio:    2.87 - 77/114/67
    Words: 241
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1090
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1921



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAmalgamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'll never fully understand you,
    rubber smell,
    yellow tee-shirts,
    practicing guitar,
    can't be added or subtracted,
    inferiority complex (wait that's me).
    but I digress,
    you are not memorable or even whole,
    unflattering as it may be,
    this could be my reason why,
    portrait painter,
    cool smooth hipster,
    rattle-snake charmer with an inflamed toe,
    keeper of Eden,
    non-dancing, non-conformist,
    conforming to your own doctrine.
    wanna-be vegetarian,
    Earth-lover, people-hater,
    smiling cerebral feeble
    saintly, though, always patient,
    or maybe uncaring
    demon-lover.
    you are always small and so much more than me.
    you are flinching in the face of danger,
    robust,
    emaciated (eating disordered?)
    film lover,
    you never read,
    you never read.
    perfectionist with some things,
    a mess otherwise,
    yes you are a mess,
    slovenly,
    against animal testing (can there really be anyone for it?)
    heterosexual homosexual,
    bisexual (but never asexual, no never) ,
    solitary,
    needy,
    just one giant enigma
    and you love that word,
    voice-changing,
    squeaking,
    shape-shifter,
    recovered alcoholic,
    (though they say you never heal),
    sleeping till noon,
    not answering calls and no machine,
    no car,
    little money,
    hating hugo chavez and george bush at the same time,
    socialist with capitalistic tendencies,
    griper,
    bastard,
    ex-lover (maybe),
    agitator (definitely),
    intellectual,
    cryptic and guarded,
    molested,
    angry at someone,
    raw,
    somtimes happy,
    I don't think I know who you are.




    Submitted on 2007-05-11 15:59:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I am not too sure if I come off as odd because I don't know you as a person at all but I like your poetry so much anyway... and it makes me like you. I guess it makes a little sense, since a person's writing tells you so much about them. Especially yours. It appeals to me personally because I feel like you understand me, and not in the way that crappy teen angst writers understand the reoccuring blood and cutting in each other's poetry. Your writing is just beautiful to me.

    My favorite lines in this poem are:

    just one giant enigma
    and you love that word,


    because it makes so much sense. We all want to believe we are enigmas, don't we? But some of us know we aren't and can live anyway, not in a state of denial or false hope. And I think that ability makes us enigmas, in a way...

    I love the way you make your writing have a sort of structure... it seems like you don't do it on purpose, but what you want to say has a sense of order all on its own. Maybe I'm mistaken... And I love your use of the paradox in this poem. I think it's wonderful.

    Everything is so out there and tied down at the same time and it all makes so much sense to describe someone I know, anyone I know... and you bring it back with a perfect conclusion. Definitely favorited. I think this is my favorite piece of writing I've read of yours so far.
    | Posted on 2007-05-14 00:00:00 | by awastedsky | [ Reply to This ]
      It's quick, catchy, makes you read faster and faster because of the structure. It's a good technique, fits with the subject matter, since every line tries to deal with something new, the repetition comes off well and it blends in, when usually slow repetitions get on a reader's nerves.
    I like the parantheses, because they show that actually there exist inner thoughts of the person in the poem.
    I have a funny feeling you're talking about yourself.
    Nonetheless, thanks for sharing.
    Cheers
    Azuire
    P.S. An amalgam is an alloy of mercury and another metal. May I ask why you picked such an interesting title?
    | Posted on 2007-05-13 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]
      The parentheses really gives this something of a gentle touch.
    Thankyou
    Shalom,
    flyfire.
    | Posted on 2007-05-12 00:00:00 | by flyfire | [ Reply to This ]


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