Description: An old piece that craves resuscitation.
And Now We Disappear -------------------------------------------
And now we disappear
down the stairway of our minds
with time as our scapegoat
we were never ones to decide
so say goodbye to what you thought you knew
because that doorway amidst actuality and truth
is a vantage point you’ll never see clearly.
Together now we wade into oblivion
maybe then can we smother our differences
and live under the blanket of the haze
breathing freely within close circumference
I never felt more secure
with you I have everything I didn’t know I wanted,
which was nothing at all.
Immersed now you can finally see clearly
the visible spectrum of knowing and departing.
ugh!
ive been trying to comment on this since you first put it up and it hasnt worked just yet...
lets give it a whirl though.
i LOVE the title.
i love it because its also the first line of the piece... kinda old school/ecummings way of working.
but i also love it because i have NO idea what come before it...
and now we disappear... i KNOW so much has happened for us to get to this point...
is it magic that we disappear?
is a good thing?
are we disappearing to avoid bad things...
so many questions... i love it.
i almost want to tell you that you need to get some more punctiation in here but my and punctuation dont get along so i cannot tell you specifically where.
the only issue i have with this piece is the middle stanza seems a lil confused with tenses.
you have "maybe then..." which seems to me to speak of a future intention and then right after 'and now we wade...'
im not sure what im trying to say but something feels awkward in this stanza (i wish i knew something lol)
but i love time being our scapegoat.
modest mouse has their song blame is on the tetones -"god i need a scapegoat now" and ive always been in love with scapegoats as a result.
time seems to be quite an unusual use of the concept and yet it should be the most obvious... if you cant blame anything else you can always blame time... its sposed to be a healer and the absolver of all sins or something...
the way you play with ideas of knowledge and not knowing anymore... blurring lines of understanding and cohesion... it works for me... it seems i am frequently in this state just now...
you know when you know something and find out your persopective is completely wrong... thats what this is in some ways though this piece doesnt make it sound half as bad as my experience of it is...
Submission Name: And Now We Disappear
