I never thought that a simple dream
Could be the source of such bitter angst
I guess that's why
I'm never paid to think.
My heart throbs with a dull ache,
That I can no longer ignore.
Numbing myself is no longer an option,
and neither is the blade.
Which I had run to so many times
To make things go away.
How much can a person take
before they finally break?
The impossibility of my desires...
Of my wants, of my needs
Makes me slip further and further
And I can't even go to sleep to escape the painful reality of what I can never have, because it even haunts me in my dreams
I used to believe that there was always hope, and you could cling on to it when you thought you had nothing left.
But now, the hopelessness settles in like snowfall in my mind, and the emptiness fills me to the point of agony.
Time doesn't mean anything to me anymore
Everything is a blur
Everything I see I want painted black to match the lump of coal that beats in place of my once living heart.
I guess I deserve it
I used to follow my dreams
But now theyfollow me
Lingering in my thoughts like that horrible night, when I was young and innocent
But now I'm just young and
As the infinite sadness and dejection settles in
It becomes harder
to remember who I am.