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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: same storydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 245
    Class/Type: Lyrics/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 625
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1550



    Description:
       something i wrote when i was feeling a little heartbroken. it happens. maybe love is like this but what else could we wish for. it was expected


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssame storydots
    -------------------------------------------


    dont you hate it
    when you're feeling hollow
    and its hard to swallow
    and all day long you just wallow
    in your own sorrow
    until tomorrow
    when someone else came to follow
    and they borrowed
    your heart for just two minutes
    until they were finished
    and the end was diminished
    and you tried to replinish
    what they gave back
    but there was something you lacked
    almost like they kept
    a small piece of your heart
    after they tore it apart
    or did they pierce it with a dart
    was the pain off the chart
    did they make you bleed
    after you helped them succeed
    did they do you a dirty deed
    did they leave
    you in need
    after they left were you ever truly freed
    does it matter
    did you even care about the chatter
    of course you did
    but sometimes you ran away and hid
    but in the end
    you couldnt even pretend
    because even though you tried not to stare
    you knew you cared
    but you still moved on
    because the past was gone
    and you waited so long
    to belong
    and when you did you didn't like it
    because you knew the fire was already lit
    so you sit
    in your own self pity fit
    but one day
    maybe some way
    your heart will be alive again
    and you will turn to another friend
    and the same damn story
    will play all over again
    until the end




    Submitted on 2007-05-12 17:51:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      its not complicated as jessica says but you just have to have brainsto understand it.


    in the whole poem you are pointing to a particular person may i know who is that.


    your poem is really worth anything


    it speaks about lot of hidden truths
    | Posted on 2007-05-15 00:00:00 | by SAMEER | [ Reply to This ]
      well youre rhyme sceme was pretty complicated, and thats not a bad thing. the problem is that the rhyming took away the point of what you wrote about and made one focus on the words instead of the meaning.
    | Posted on 2007-05-13 00:00:00 | by Jessica Lynn | [ Reply to This ]


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