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    dots Submission Name: i cant walkdots

    Author: DBC
    ASL Info:    21/m/ar
    Elite Ratio:    2.77 - 55/59/29
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 950
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 681


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    dotsi cant walkdots

    the day was long my friend
    and in their right your legs will feel like great slabs of iron weighing you down
    pulling you to the bottom
    as you drove home from your 11 hour work day
    you just couldnt
    stay awake
    so off you start veering towards the ditches while your dreaming
    of a life apart from endless toil
    your a man of the soil
    a hard worker
    but for what
    you cant make it all the way back to your house
    so you pull over into a commercial parking lot to go to sleep
    you turn on the radio as you drift off
    the sound is faint
    your lids begin to close
    your asleep

    Submitted on 2007-05-12 20:28:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this because you showed someone who was like anyone else...tired and in need of a break from everything. I thought that in the rhyme soil and toil was a little distracting because it was just a random rhyme... i like that there was no rhyme sceame because i think it added to the mood as tired and used...but that just threw me off..^_^
    | Posted on 2007-05-13 00:00:00 | by ollie_wicked | [ Reply to This ]

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