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Completely Absorbed


Author: Reckoner
Elite Ratio:    5.04 - 122 /164 /128
Words: 322
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 743
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 2006



Description:


God I love her


Completely Absorbed



Crucial point in an unbearable standstill
she was gone and I prayed that she was still alright
my memory may always serve to blind me
but my purpose will always remain inside of me
distinctively appreciable

an overriding instinct
I begin every prayer with symbolism
placing her face over any day I wish to forget
always more important to percieve as an exit
than the red doors that people don't often hold open

unmerciful glowing light
her shadow casts the width of the sun upon me
giving me something brilliant to place my futures in
as I melt for what I only pray I can eventually contain
keeping the flames for myself even as they threaten to burn me

she carries her love in valid proportions
as she trips over herself in the halls of conforming spiders
the weight of a broken clock bounces off of her sleepy ankles
taking her another notch southward
till I give her a few more legs to help her out through this new web of pain

careful not to touch the cement that blisters
the bottom of the square's edge
she crawled underneath the squaller with me
you don't have to let them walk on you to avoid them
the sky is only visible underground

so we lift up our wings through the decomposing temperatures
swimming through gravel and recycled animals
till the earth is tilted on its ugly side for a generation to see
then when others are crying we will sneak outside
lift up the vail and blow the dark grains off the face of disaster

absorbed by changes in the warmth that your chest gathers
my thoughts are at a standstill
stretching my jaw against the constraints of your skin
my warm cheek is covered completely with your smell
tasting your thoughts so clearly on my tongue as I resign to them




Submitted on 2007-05-13 02:04:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous, so can you go through it with me?lol. dont you love how you can tell if i called you gorgeous right there or if i said the poem was gorgeous?lol well both. so THERE!!lol. damn people reviewing before me...im okay with tony though...he seems chill.lol. so....tripping over myself huh? you just HAD to go and put my clumsiness in there.haha. omg i luh you.lol. okay....well...MWUAH...and and and byes... :D

XOxoXO,
me
| Posted on 2007-05-14 00:00:00 | by angelfyre | [ Reply to This ]
  wow. symbolism indeed. while i might ask you to recheck your vocabulary here and there (line 10 'then' should be 'than'...) the story you present your reader is surely remarkable. almost too much, at times, as if you yourself were too absorbed with your creation, within these lines. who is the enemy? who do you fight against / avoid, in this poem you have written? why is time such a factor? you shed only so much light into your realm of inspiration, it drives the reader to ask questions. well done...

-tony
| Posted on 2007-05-13 00:00:00 | by wonderbread1000 | [ Reply to This ]


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