[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Sinful Situationsdots

    Author: dreamer37517
    ASL Info:    25/F/Bama
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 161/149/49
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1112
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 560

       I dont really know what this is. Just got bored one night.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSinful Situationsdots

    With deranged dreams and corrupted conceptions,
    A spirit will spiral to the deepest depressions.

    With wicked wants and destructive desires,
    The existence you live is sent to the fires.

    With unethical understandings and heartless hope,
    A life is deprived the skill to be able to cope.

    With evil intentions and merciless maddness,
    The soul is flowing with devastating sadness.

    With shameful scrutiny and villianous values,
    A life surviving this way is doomed to lose.

    Submitted on 2007-05-14 14:21:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i agree with previous comments...relating to this would be much like being sylvia plath and on a downward spiral....

    sometimes life hits us so hard early on that we become skeptical of joy...we always feel there is some false panel hidden that will open up and some bad spirit of things will devour us...
    | Posted on 2011-04-17 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the idea, and I find the words... deep. Well, as lark said, I'm not sure if being able to relate to this piece is a good thing or not. It's really... sad. As for the writing format, since every first line of every verse starts with 'With...', was thinking that starting the second lines with 'A...' would make things consistent, eg, 'A spirit spirals...', 'An existence lived...'.

    Still, it's just an opinion. You have your own style, so, keep it up. :)
    | Posted on 2007-05-17 00:00:00 | by whchong | [ Reply to This ]
      damn. is it bad that i can relate to this? maybe it is maybe not. i like the hopelessness and i dont. but u have to choose a way to go with it and this way works for it. flows and rhymes nice. and the word choice is great, some may say its a bit much but i like it so fcuk them ha. woo.
    | Posted on 2007-05-14 00:00:00 | by lark | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]