Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Let's Fight Like Debutants Dodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Persephone
    ASL Info:    19/f/ US
    Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 328/352/136
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 628
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 846



    Description:
       So, yeah, my friend and I are fighting...again. Wow...aren't I such a teen. This is more of a vent than anything else, but I would appreciate any comments at all! Thanks! ^_^


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLet's Fight Like Debutants Dodots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sometimes, after all these years,
    I can't help but wonder,
    if you're worth all these tears.

    You, my best friend on the planet,
    who finally said poor poor me to much,
    who said she had all the talent.

    Yes, you, the one who angered way too easily,
    the one I couldn't take being around another moment,
    and made me choke on your ego until it made me queasy,

    Oh my, yes, that is the one I talk of,
    the one that thinks too much with heart instead of head,
    Who wouldn't understand anything, love.

    Is it wrong to hate you then?
    Probably not, not now,
    No...no...not the person who claims to be a friend.

    But no longer are you a friend,
    you, she, that girl,
    she is
    dead.




    Submitted on 2007-05-14 16:35:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was a perfect read for me right now. I'm going through the exact thing with my so called friend...we've been fighting alot too.....isnt that horrible.
    I especially love the first stanza, cause after so much pain and tears, you do have to wonder is it worth it.
    But the thing is, you look back at all the great times and see that the good does out do the bad and realize that it is worth it.
    So Im hoping me and her can hopefully work it out....I just dont know though.
    Anyways, sorry about the rambling. Point is, you got your anger out. Now you just got to figure it out. Everyone goes through this. You wrote it great in you own words. Good write.
    | Posted on 2007-05-14 00:00:00 | by dreamer37517 | [ Reply to This ]
      now this i like. it didn't take the turn that i thought it would. and the end, that girl you always knew and loved died. not meaning the relationship could be gone forever but atleast that girl you grew to know did die and things have to change from then on out. well thats what i got haha. keep it up woooo.
    | Posted on 2007-05-14 00:00:00 | by lark | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    142593

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry