a Song by lolavie

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Author:	lolavie
ASL Info:	23/female/Michigan
Elite Ratio:	3.28 - 70/172/100
Words:	205

Class/Type:	Lyrics/
Total Views:	107
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1219

Description:

a Song

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It rained
Every day and every night
I thought of you
Every day and every night while it rained

I saw
The very blue of your eyes
In the rain
You had my heart in the rain

The pain of my past
Went away in the rain
And I JUST WANTED TO BE WITH YOU in the rain

It rained
It rained
It rained

Pitter-patter goes the rain on, on my window
Tears are fallin', all in all I --I miss you so
Standing there I feel the air, I wanna hold on
Close my eyes, and I-- I’m holding on

It rained
Every day and every night
I thought of you
Every day and every night while it rained

I saw
The very blue of your eyes
In the rain
You had my heart in the rain

The pain of my past
Went away in the rain
And I JUST WANTED TO BE WITH YOU in the rain

It rained
It rained
It rained

Oh sun, do I even want you to appear
Will my memories disappear in the rain..

In the rain
In the rain
In the rain

Submitted on 2007-05-16 04:29:48 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
im not sure who this song is to [though i know it isnt to me] but i sure hope they appreciate it

its always hard to read lyrics on this site because one cannot hear it the way the writer intends it to be heard.
and i know i cannot apply poetic critique tools to lyrics but i would want to say that i would think about lessening the repetition of 'the rain' throughout the song...

you know when you were learning to spell and the teacher made you write each word on your list out 10 times and then put it into a sentence but when you got to the sentence stage the word meant nothing and the letters didnt seem real... its kinda like that when you repeat words too much throughout a piece

having said that it could be completely different when sung i mean... im sitting here listening to leonard cohen and he is singing

everybody knows that its now or never
everybody knows that its me or you
and everybody knows that you life forever
when you done a line or two

and the repetition of everybody knows doesnt get on my nerves at all.
so i guess... if it works in your song and isnt noticable then you have done well

i think this is a beautiful gesture.
i hope it all works out for you

| Posted on 2007-06-25 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

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