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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: a Songdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lolavie
    ASL Info:    23/female/Michigan
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 70/175/103
    Words: 205
    Class/Type: Lyrics/
    Total Views: 509
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1219



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa Songdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It rained
    Every day and every night
    I thought of you
    Every day and every night while it rained

    I saw
    The very blue of your eyes
    In the rain
    You had my heart in the rain

    The pain of my past
    Went away in the rain
    And I JUST WANTED TO BE WITH YOU in the rain

    It rained
    It rained
    It rained


    Pitter-patter goes the rain on, on my window
    Tears are fallin', all in all I --I miss you so
    Standing there I feel the air, I wanna hold on
    Close my eyes, and I-- Iím holding on

    It rained
    Every day and every night
    I thought of you
    Every day and every night while it rained

    I saw
    The very blue of your eyes
    In the rain
    You had my heart in the rain

    The pain of my past
    Went away in the rain
    And I JUST WANTED TO BE WITH YOU in the rain

    It rained
    It rained
    It rained

    Oh sun, do I even want you to appear
    Will my memories disappear in the rain..

    In the rain
    In the rain
    In the rain




    Submitted on 2007-05-16 04:29:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      im not sure who this song is to [though i know it isnt to me] but i sure hope they appreciate it


    its always hard to read lyrics on this site because one cannot hear it the way the writer intends it to be heard.
    and i know i cannot apply poetic critique tools to lyrics but i would want to say that i would think about lessening the repetition of 'the rain' throughout the song...

    you know when you were learning to spell and the teacher made you write each word on your list out 10 times and then put it into a sentence but when you got to the sentence stage the word meant nothing and the letters didnt seem real... its kinda like that when you repeat words too much throughout a piece

    having said that it could be completely different when sung i mean... im sitting here listening to leonard cohen and he is singing

    everybody knows that its now or never
    everybody knows that its me or you
    and everybody knows that you life forever
    when you done a line or two

    and the repetition of everybody knows doesnt get on my nerves at all.
    so i guess... if it works in your song and isnt noticable then you have done well


    i think this is a beautiful gesture.
    i hope it all works out for you
    | Posted on 2007-06-25 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    142717

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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