Mixed metaphors: the train being a drink seems to work fine! Although I dunno why. But in the last line I had trouble with "drifting". Then I suddenly realized that the train is haunted, and if so, then you could be the train yourself. Then I went: "AAgh! Da Grim Reaperess is comming for me!" Time to get off the line
In Tori Amos' intro for Neil Gaiman's graphic novel "Death: The High Cost of Living," she said, "Death told her" that there is a part of Death in everyone. And I think that that's true and ever so necessary considering that we are here to live.
Without Death, or the notion that we "mere mortals" can die, we would not try to progress, we would remain stagnant because the absence of an end will dissuade us from trying to squeeze everything that we can out of life. And that will make our existance a perfect waste of time.
Death and other similar concepts bring out the best and the worst of us. It makes us beautiful and everything around us beautiful.
I think that the light-heartedness of your piece is what makes it powerful. You give a different perspective on the notion of having an end to something. It is oddly playful and it makes you really have this strong sense of acceptance for the order of things without being too preachy or mellow-dramatic. The elements of childishness also add up to this eerie yet completely edible bit of literary prowess.
(And this site will not die if we anything to say about it.)
I like the train metaphor here. Sometimes it seems like our demons are our own personal train wreck inside our minds, but somehow they just keep on going (kind of like that annoying energizer bunny).
It may just be me, but this kind of has a jazzy feel to it, with the "a-haunting" and "a-coming". I can't really think of anything that needs emprovement, so I think I'll wrap this up with saying, good one.
Well now, this gave me a giggle. It's nice to read stuff that isn't serious, and this definitely isn't serious lol. Reminds me of old Addam's Family episodes, what with (I forget his name) the dad's fascination with them...
*Warning this review was written while under the inlfuence of MArIJuaNa*
Damn! You're shyt always so short! Always want more!!! I've read everything you've posted, time and time again! I guess you just need to write more! That's the only thing you can do better. "Chug-a Chug-a Choo Choo..." Wicked!