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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fallingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Toadslayer
    ASL Info:    35/Female/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.08 - 32/38/15
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1326
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 611



    Description:
       I tried to think of a way to rewrite this without using the word "I", but my brain froze. Any suggestions?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFallingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I look into your eyes
    I let go and fall into
    A thousand sleepy mornings
    And a thousand restless nights.

    I am breathless anticipating
    The warmth of your eyes' embrace.
    No cold wind to bring me
    Back to the moments sitting

    Where these thoughts of mine reflect
    Against the window of your soul.
    Like a beacon in the night,
    What do you look for?

    The space across our coffee table,
    Fingertips, that will not touch.
    My words a haunting melody,
    As I freefall in your love.




    Submitted on 2004-06-14 15:03:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is really pretty and nice. I like it a lot. I didn't find it shaky, but I've never been one to scan or anything like that.
    | Posted on 2004-06-15 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this one, even though the flow seemed kind of shaky. It might just be me though, so don't take it harshly. I liked the imagery and the 'freefall in your love' part. Great job overall.
    | Posted on 2004-06-14 00:00:00 | by Unicorn Poet | [ Reply to This ]


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