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    dots Submission Name: Salinedots

    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 870
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 925


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I cry sometimes,
    This Saline Solution,
    Burns my eyes,
    My living retribution,
    My sin covering,
    My purifying ritual,
    Saying, no, I'm not okay,
    And, Yes this is habitual,
    It's official now,
    My pillow is soaked,
    I had a violent dream,
    And meanwhile I choked,
    On the words I wrote,
    I’m on the other line of,
    Wrote it for some love,
    Now, I want to unsign cause,
    The hate is in the words, too,
    And so are the tears,
    The same mind buzz,
    You get over the years,
    Of Saline, sweat,
    And sincere worries,
    “I’m drowning here”s
    “Troubles get here, hurry”s
    Snow you in with,
    “Wish you could’ve been here” flurries,
    And salt tainted memories of me,
    But they wouldn’t melt,
    I can’t remember it for you,
    Remember yourself,

    Submitted on 2007-05-17 07:36:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I have to say that I really like this. It is captivating and very easy, for me at least, to identify with. The part about snowing this person in is awesome, really. I love this idea of soaked pain, cause pain really does work like that. You keep the "wetness" throughout the poem which I think is also powerful and keeps the poem together. Saline is a great title and a great sensory thing too. I feel the burning, soaking pain and that feeling stays throughout the poem as well. So many people try to hard, and I dont feel that this is pushed or strained. It is just you, and it is beautifully written.
    | Posted on 2007-05-17 00:00:00 | by snortis | [ Reply to This ]
    | Posted on 2007-05-17 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]

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