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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dream Catcherdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 964
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 535



    Description:
       Could be a real dream catcher, a comfort object, or even a person. I just wrote it while I was on break at work...I think I like it. It's simple


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDream Catcherdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Spin me a web
    Decorate it in lies
    Fill it with your pretty words
    That are pleasing to the eyes.

    Build me a net
    Cast it over my skin
    Make sure all the screams and frights
    Never do get in.

    Weave me a tapestry
    Of pleasant thoughts and smiles
    Hang it where the sun will shine
    Let me be happy for a while.

    Spin me a web
    Fill my sleep with pleasure
    Keep all the bad things away
    My beautiful dreamcatcher.




    Submitted on 2007-05-17 17:52:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with one of the posts that said this sounds very childlike and sweet. I like that about it. Very sing-song and soothing.
    I can imagine someone saying this before they drift off to sleep.
    Plus, I like dreamcatchers, so I'll be thinking of your words when I look at mine.
    thank you!
    | Posted on 2007-11-10 00:00:00 | by amrslamr | [ Reply to This ]
      This is delightful, Raivin! It has a good rhyme scheme, and tells a delightful, wistful story! You get great marks on this, gal!!
    | Posted on 2007-09-09 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      i enjoyed this write a great deal. its perspective is much like a child and lends a sort innocence which is always refreshing. the delecate details and gentile description only lend to that softness of childlike innocence....

    warm wishes and thanks,

    ash
    | Posted on 2007-06-07 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]
      HI I liked this. It had quite an infantile tone to it for me almost like a little childs prayer before goiung to sleep. I liked the imagery and the delicacy of this write. I liked build me a net....It felt very protecting.

    Good write

    Kate
    xxx
    | Posted on 2007-05-18 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really a beautiful write that definately captures that dream state one feels very well
    The rhyme scheme is very good and the floew is also very well done
    Great Job!!!
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron

    PS
    I LOVE THE HAIR!!!!
    | Posted on 2007-05-17 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this... I don't have any nitpicking to do. It's simple and creative and I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work!
    ~*Melissa*~
    | Posted on 2007-05-17 00:00:00 | by black_beauty18 | [ Reply to This ]
      It is simple.
    "Weave me a tapestry
    Of pleasant thoughts and smiles
    Hang it where the sun will shine
    Let me be happy for a while."

    Yes.
    I imagine... I dream, and I hope that it'll let me be happy for awhile but then I remember it's just a dream and I should try and live in reality.
    But...yeah.
    | Posted on 2007-05-17 00:00:00 | by Mieko | [ Reply to This ]


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