Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dream Catcherdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 986
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 535



    Description:
       Could be a real dream catcher, a comfort object, or even a person. I just wrote it while I was on break at work...I think I like it. It's simple


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDream Catcherdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Spin me a web
    Decorate it in lies
    Fill it with your pretty words
    That are pleasing to the eyes.

    Build me a net
    Cast it over my skin
    Make sure all the screams and frights
    Never do get in.

    Weave me a tapestry
    Of pleasant thoughts and smiles
    Hang it where the sun will shine
    Let me be happy for a while.

    Spin me a web
    Fill my sleep with pleasure
    Keep all the bad things away
    My beautiful dreamcatcher.




    Submitted on 2007-05-17 17:52:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with one of the posts that said this sounds very childlike and sweet. I like that about it. Very sing-song and soothing.
    I can imagine someone saying this before they drift off to sleep.
    Plus, I like dreamcatchers, so I'll be thinking of your words when I look at mine.
    thank you!
    | Posted on 2007-11-10 00:00:00 | by amrslamr | [ Reply to This ]
      This is delightful, Raivin! It has a good rhyme scheme, and tells a delightful, wistful story! You get great marks on this, gal!!
    | Posted on 2007-09-09 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      i enjoyed this write a great deal. its perspective is much like a child and lends a sort innocence which is always refreshing. the delecate details and gentile description only lend to that softness of childlike innocence....

    warm wishes and thanks,

    ash
    | Posted on 2007-06-07 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]
      HI I liked this. It had quite an infantile tone to it for me almost like a little childs prayer before goiung to sleep. I liked the imagery and the delicacy of this write. I liked build me a net....It felt very protecting.

    Good write

    Kate
    xxx
    | Posted on 2007-05-18 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really a beautiful write that definately captures that dream state one feels very well
    The rhyme scheme is very good and the floew is also very well done
    Great Job!!!
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron

    PS
    I LOVE THE HAIR!!!!
    | Posted on 2007-05-17 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this... I don't have any nitpicking to do. It's simple and creative and I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the good work!
    ~*Melissa*~
    | Posted on 2007-05-17 00:00:00 | by black_beauty18 | [ Reply to This ]
      It is simple.
    "Weave me a tapestry
    Of pleasant thoughts and smiles
    Hang it where the sun will shine
    Let me be happy for a while."

    Yes.
    I imagine... I dream, and I hope that it'll let me be happy for awhile but then I remember it's just a dream and I should try and live in reality.
    But...yeah.
    | Posted on 2007-05-17 00:00:00 | by Mieko | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    142816

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Etiquette written by saartha
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry