its really hard to comment on lyrics because one can never hear the music/vocals that accompany the songs.
in poetry rhyming annoys me no end but some of my favourite (and infact the worlds favourite) songs are all about rhyme but when there is music involved the rhyme seems less harsh.
i see a red door and i want to paint it black
no colour any more i want it to turn black
i see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
i have to turn my head until my darkness goes
so i cannot bash the obviousness of your rhyming and yet when i read it it frustrates me no end.
i think mostly you need to make sure you stay away from cliché ideas/lines.
flesh that out a lil. what are they and how can one spot them?
your subtle change from lies to eyes at the end is a good one... almost predictable but not quite.
what genre is the song?
im assuming since you say album in your description that you have one in the making and therefore write/play music or are in a band...
welll... good luck.
sorry my comment isnt much use.