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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rice Crispysdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cricket
    ASL Info:    19/F/Texas
    Elite Ratio:    2.48 - 81/51/27
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/
    Total Views: 705
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 580



    Description:
       my thoughts on eating rice crispys...*sniff*


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRice Crispysdots
    -------------------------------------------


    They’re not screams
    They’re just angry painful out bursts
    They’ll settle down once they know
    It could be much worse
    They get no special treatment
    Not like your gonna call a hearse

    Just a conversation
    That went on in my head
    Unfortunately all the while the cereal still lay dead
    Finally I remember my need to swallow
    Now it’s only my heart that feels hollow

    After this the cereal didn’t make much noise
    Still some say it to be to horrific for little girls & boys...




    Submitted on 2007-05-21 12:45:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      snap,crackle,pop lol very funny! Thanks for sharing.
    Kelley Frost
    | Posted on 2007-11-30 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      This right here....its the new jingle for rice crispie cereal...lol........good poem...very descriptive
    | Posted on 2007-11-11 00:00:00 | by iaida | [ Reply to This ]
      Cereal killer, eh?
    the worst kind.

    I like the idea behind this one, whimsical as it may be. However what seems to me like a comment on your creative process:

    just a conversation
    that went on in my head

    seems a bit too obvious and distracts from the ideas that were going on in your head.

    personally, I would have explored more the absurdity of the personification of a breakfast particle... snap. crackle, pop indeed...
    | Posted on 2007-05-28 00:00:00 | by hobohead | [ Reply to This ]
      the poor rice crispys. Now i feel bad for em.

    | Posted on 2007-05-21 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh the Noises, descriptions as best as I would say. *kisses*
    | Posted on 2007-05-21 00:00:00 | by rAbit | [ Reply to This ]


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