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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Field of Friendsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Specdro
    ASL Info:    28/Of Course/NY
    Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 21/53/38
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 977
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 929



    Description:
       This poem is for the woman who thought she had no friends.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsField of Friendsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    As this life comes to an end
    Standing there being your only friend
    Looking out unto an empty field
    Feeling that none of this is real

    Then there is a hand placed on your back
    You turn to see the thing you lack
    I am standing there so youíre not alone
    I am the friend that shared with you a home

    Thinking back through all your time
    How many friends did you find?
    Some went through thick or thin
    Some you treated closer then kin

    When you turn and look back unto the field
    You will realize thatís what is real
    Friends youíve had and friends youíve lost
    Friends that know friendship has no cost

    I have always loved you and so have they
    I am sorry if I made you feel this way
    Your life is so full of people who really care
    For miles and miles down the field you can stare




    Submitted on 2007-05-21 17:29:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      beautiful writing and entertaining.
    I really like this writing. I think you are a blessing to be so talented thankyou.


    totojane
    | Posted on 2009-08-24 00:00:00 | by totojane03 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm this is a nice dedication but i think as a poem it could use some improvement. Firstly, I thought the rhyming scene was off and maybe you'd do a better job with free verse. I also felt that there was glitch with the last line, I think it has too many syllables perhaps. I noticed two words which were placed one after the other which didn't really rhyme "real" and "field." I think if you've put a rhyme pattern then you should follow it without any exceptions so unless you pronounce real like reel, that part could use some improvement. Overall, this was a nice tribute. If you need any suggestions on how to improve this then let me know. Thanks for sharing.

    Abbas
    | Posted on 2007-05-23 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]


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    143063

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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