Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: No Regretsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: freshcookies
    ASL Info:    18/F/USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 56/63/39
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 118
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 666



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNo Regretsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When does friendship cross into love?
    Somewhere far behind us by now.
    And the boundary between love and romance?
    Sometimes it seems a thin line,
    But it's a chasm I'm afraid to cross.
    You and I have been treading a rickety bridge
    And somehow didn't see
    That we were walking side by side.
    Now we've recognized one another.
    We cling to each other
    Swaying perilously
    Craving solid ground
    But afraid to stray too far from either side.
    I pray most vigilantly,
    Whichever direction we choose,
    That we may arrive hand in hand,
    With no regrets.




    Submitted on 2007-05-21 22:04:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Again, not bad, but your word usage is still a bit... plain. You need to liven your works up a bit with a braoder vocabulary that will cath the reader's eye. Your premises are always good, and the ideas always good, and your basic writing skills are all fine; you just need to work on your word usage t ocreate original lines and vivid imagery to really pull a person into the piece you're writing.

    Keep working on it, you've got a skill for sure, just need a bit of polishing, but don't we all? :)

    Cheers and God bless,

    ~Mandi~
    | Posted on 2007-05-22 00:00:00 | by Mandi Gayle | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.