this is actually really good.
there are usually some types of catagories of style of writing,
and you just created a new one for me.
the way you would start off stanzas was really nice and unique.
and every time you would say "i" it wasn't as if this entire piece was about you.
it was more about how you felt and a lot of people can't show that very well if they keep using the word "I".
soo, good job.