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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lets Go Down (On Each Other)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Robert Neville
    ASL Info:    16/m/London
    Elite Ratio:    0.48 - 10/192/232
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 549
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 662



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLets Go Down (On Each Other)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lets Go Down (On Each Other)

    I'll show you mine
    as long as you dont laugh
    and if you show me yours
    it will mean more than my life is worth

    With my mouth, so empty
    but yet so full
    of everything
    sex, rock, words and all

    and when we're not alone
    i just wish we could be
    so i could give you a bone
    you could be hungry?
    i know i am

    Lets go down
    on each other
    i'm game, i know your not
    but still
    you can stand
    and i will kneel
    it doesnt bother me
    just dont tell my mother




    Submitted on 2007-05-22 14:49:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hmmmm... this is interesting... an interesting choice of topic. the only thing i think you should work on would be a more uniform pattern in stanza length and rhyme scheme. but other than that good write.


    ~remedy
    | Posted on 2007-05-24 00:00:00 | by remedy bayden | [ Reply to This ]
      o_o Ummm well..... Well not a bad write... The topic doesn't really interest me but hey... Wow..... o_o
    | Posted on 2007-05-23 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]
      This is completely [censored] awesome.
    That last line is amazing.
    It's not too raunchy, but as readers we still get some visuals.

    amazing.
    | Posted on 2007-05-22 00:00:00 | by taramarie | [ Reply to This ]


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