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    dots Submission Name: Fate's Crueltydots

    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 762
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 505


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFate's Crueltydots

    As intelligence comes of the mind,
    love holds its great reign in my heart.
    I silently curse the wicked Fates,
    for their cruelty forced us to part.
    And still they relentlessly taunt me,
    by your sweet voice I am not smart.
    It is the deadliest of their tools,
    in form of a soul piercing dart.
    As they now spitefully torture me,
    I fear it shall tear me apart.
    And as I sit in my empty room,
    I see that truly a muse thou art.

    Submitted on 2007-05-22 17:36:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This reminds me of whenever I try to write something the feeling that something is overwhelming me and I cannot control it like an emotional tug awar with trying to write and say something or stay mute and let it destory me. I hope that made sense lol.
    | Posted on 2007-09-13 00:00:00 | by BellaxMuerte | [ Reply to This ]
      It is truly an art to write this type of poetry and I don't normally try it since I end up forcing words into the lines just to make them rhyme... You seem to have mastered this though and the poem has a nice flow to it. Well written!
    | Posted on 2007-07-21 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      Another great piece..I can see from all your poems, you have talent and you will get better and better. there is always room for improvement for a gifted poet. I'm sure one day you'll write poems that you never even thought you could write. So far I am impressed...
    hip hip hooray

    this line kinda "killed it", it could've been written more suitable

    "by your sweet voice I am not smart."
    that "I am not smart" part sounded weird to me..I don't know if it's me or the line..eh
    you do the math (lol)
    | Posted on 2007-05-23 00:00:00 | by Ani | [ Reply to This ]
      nice this poem is so sweet iyts cooool. i loved ur wording so much.

    peace out
    | Posted on 2007-05-22 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]

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