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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hospital math.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: chilz
    ASL Info:    20/F/WA
    Elite Ratio:    3.89 - 137/147/84
    Words: 36
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 728
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 291



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHospital math.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Four white walls
    One blue bed.
    One ghost like lady.

    Two pressed women.
    One dark man.
    Two lonely souls.

    Three bright tubes.
    One crimson.
    Two clear.

    All these numbers,
    Equal;
    One tear rolling.




    Submitted on 2007-05-23 14:52:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Chelsea, you have created a piece that truly slows the reader down and makes him/her carefully coinsider what you have said and the picture that it paints. A heavy feeling of loss permeates this piece and I must believe that is what you were going for.
    | Posted on 2007-05-24 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this. It's different, I don't think I've ever seen something quite like it before. There's a detached feel to the words which works really well for what's being said.

    -Stevey
    | Posted on 2007-05-24 00:00:00 | by Anticlownperson | [ Reply to This ]


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