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    dots Submission Name: Buried Alivedots

    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Cutting or Mutilation
    Total Views: 832
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 532

       sometimes i feel like i am killing myself. someitmes i wish it were true

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBuried Alivedots

    I sink into the shadows,
    And crawl into the dirt.
    The razors bite my skin,
    But my body doesn't hurt.
    I cannot release this pain.
    I bleed until blood's gone.
    Still i am alive,
    To remember you have won.
    Looking up from my grave,
    I watch the dirt fall down.
    The shovel's in your hand.
    I do not make a sound.
    I wait until I'm buried,
    Then cry myself to sleep.
    I never do wake up.
    My hearts still yours to keep.

    Submitted on 2007-05-23 17:11:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow. This one really had a impact.
    I love the whole giving up concept.
    I can really feel & relate to this.
    The imagery was fantastic.
    I can picture someone looking up
    on someone piling dirt on you.
    Great Write.



    | Posted on 2007-08-12 00:00:00 | by Poetic_tragedy6 | [ Reply to This ]
      holy [censored] i can really seriously and totally relate to this piece. when you just give up and you are just so tired that you become almost apathetic.
    i like the rhythm to this! :)
    | Posted on 2007-06-19 00:00:00 | by Jessica Lynn | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the way you write, you make such clear images that it was like a movie playing in my head!!! It took a little bit of recollection of how it is relate able to me and projection of watching it happening to somebody elts.
    | Posted on 2007-05-24 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a great poem in my opinion. it's so dark and it has such great imagery that i feel like i am laying in the grave with the person having the dirt laying over me. Not many poets on elite have been able to accomplish such great imagery, so be proud of yourself because your a great poet.

    | Posted on 2007-05-24 00:00:00 | by remedy bayden | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem expresses extreme emptiness and loneliness, which is very sad. Cutting or mutilation is a problem that many young women in particular face, and writing about such thngs is a great form of therapy. Remember there is always hope and to never give up. (:
    | Posted on 2007-05-24 00:00:00 | by Quelly | [ Reply to This ]
      Damn. I feel sorry for the guy you wrote this for. Hm... I wouldn'twanna be in such a freaky relationship. Anyway the poem is ok...
    | Posted on 2007-05-23 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]

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