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    dots Submission Name: Pale Bluedots

    Author: necromance
    Elite Ratio:    2.38 - 43/40/19
    Words: 212
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1428
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1403

       ok, i actually made a better ending and i like it actually

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPale Bluedots

    Dreamlessly sleeping, and weeping, and sore,
    Leaving their bodies to freeze to the floor,
    And sad little puddles of blue-streaked gore...

    The hem of her dress so tattered and torn,
    Pretty white face is dour, forlorn,
    Slipping through mouths as twilight is born...

    Licking their wounds and eating the night,
    Clawed her own eyes out, and laughing in spite,
    Gorged on her lust for the absence of light...

    Twisted white throat to pour out her soul,
    Crystalline tears are frozen and full.
    Fell not from eyes but from ebony holes...

    Acidic wounds, they burn as you sigh,
    Nails scratch the wall with a hideous cry,
    And cowers beneath a lachrymose sky...

    So quiet, the night she dug up her grave,
    Halfway through hell and a servant to save,
    Tales of sin, for a father forgave...

    Offered me jewels for her purity stained,
    Sending a flood for the weary and pained,
    Ends of the earth, and not a thing gained...

    (Now Chemical Love; It Coats the Floor,
    Murdered Brides that Blew Down the Door,
    Holding their Breath for Ten Minutes More,...
    And Fleeing from That which would Even the Score...)

    Submitted on 2007-05-23 21:28:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      ooooo! sue rhymed!!!!!!!!!!!

    alex agrees with iscreamicry about the stanzas and rhymes, etc...alex thinks it needs an ending though, like something a little different to finalize it maybe, although it's not really necessary

    | Posted on 2007-05-25 00:00:00 | by whispered_chaos | [ Reply to This ]
      awesome stanzas, perfect rhymes.
    fits together like a well designed puzzle of words.
    wonderful to read, amazing to understand
    | Posted on 2007-05-24 00:00:00 | by iscreamicry | [ Reply to This ]
      very vivid. well described. this is awesome.
    everything flows and fits together nicely.
    | Posted on 2007-05-23 00:00:00 | by skinnard | [ Reply to This ]

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