Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Right Of Passagedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Semper Fidelis
    ASL Info:    22/Male/ouahu, Hawaii
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 135/185/60
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 836
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 866



    Description:
       today I went to the navy recruiters office to finish up the paper work...My father wasn't to keen on the idea of me in the military but was supportive. But when I have a problem I'll write it down. He found my writting about bieng scared. Now he is worried.

    But this is how I am becoming the person I'll be for the rest of my life, hence the title.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRight Of Passagedots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's cold-
    White uniforms and anchors-
    Just shooting the bull-
    nothing really serious...yet-

    Talking to the recruiter-
    Fill out the forms-
    Father cries somewhere far away-
    saying good bye to his son-

    The drive home-
    Listing to slipknot-
    Going faster with every second-
    this is my life-
    Just a long ride-

    "Anchors Away"-
    blasting in my mind-
    still, my father on mind-
    I wish he could know-
    who I really am-

    Never meant to hurt him-
    this father of mine-
    wrote about bieng scared-
    of the change-
    not loss of life-

    I am now-
    begining the rest of my life-
    this is the way I will live-
    Becoming who I will be-
    On my own-




    Submitted on 2004-06-14 22:57:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
       You are making me really, really sad... Why do you want to go to the navy? I am not contradicting, I am just asking. What is it about the navy that draws you there instead of here, and you have fears about it, shouldn't you be excited? If you really wanted to go, you wouldn't be scared. alright, alright, I will lay off, I am just sad after reading this, its to sad for me. You better explain later, lol
    | Posted on 2004-06-15 00:00:00 | by ViCiOuSWrItEr | [ Reply to This ]
      Your poor dad, but he's not the only one who's gonna cry. why must you do this? why this?
    Joining the military now, there won't be a rest of your life. If you can, please reconsider this.
    | Posted on 2004-06-14 00:00:00 | by pawnee | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    14328

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry