My Shelf by Natie

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Submission Name: My Shelf dots

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Author:	Natie
ASL Info:	19/F/Aus
Elite Ratio:	3.9 - 65/87/26
Words:	241

Class/Type:	Story/
Total Views:	127
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1460

Description:
This is the first write i have done in a long time, Im a different person to who i used to be, im 2 years older more mature, grown up.

This is about me and a friend some mote find it confussing and i apologise. My so called friend is moving away. And i just wanted to go through our time together to see if i wanna go for another ride.

I think ill just sit on me shelf!!!

So go easy on me guys but the critisism will be appreciated as long as its not about my spelling im terrible at it!!! *Thanks*

My Shelf dots

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I had a friend, a very good friend
I also had a boyfriend one i truly love
I always shared me time, between them
There was still always fights
Neither could see me trying
SHAYE, STEVE, SHAYE, STEVE
Always torn between the two

My friend got a boyfriend,
but who she did not truly love
I was placed on the bookshelf
Only wanted when advice was needed
I love him, but i want to be with him

So the story goes on
She keeps her boyfriend
The one she had to learn to love
As we all know learning to love takes time

On that shelf i sat
Gathering dust, a few spiderwebs
I left that shelf and cleaned myself off
Dedicated my time to the one i love

Her boyfriend goes away
He goes away for ten days
But im not on the shelf
*ring* *ring* *ring*
I think that's my phone

My friends alone
her boyfriends away
She's my friend
I have to be by her side

I take her back, I let her in
My other friends think me a fool
She's my friend I say
Forever and a day I thought

We had our laughs, we danced
We spoke of old times, we cried
We hugged, we cherised each other

Ten days later the boyfriend arives
And here I am sitting on my dusty shelf

Submitted on 2007-05-24 23:34:04 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
This poem is actually very touching. I love how you intertwined love and being forgotten together by two different people.
Very nice write indeed.

I noticed a few lines you said 'me' instead of 'I' or 'my.' Maybe that's how you talk, but take in mind that when you write you shouldn't do the same as when you are talking. Writing needs perfection in vocabulary, words, and the way things are said. Overall though, besides that, as far as the wording goes.

It does need some work though. Describing how you were put on a shelf and eventually grew dust and spiderwebs was a good similie for being left out or forgotten about. I agree, that that's how you would probably feel if your good friend chose her boyfriend over you.

It's nice to hear she came back for a little while, though. And you grew to love someone as well. But if everything was good why did you end up back on a dusty shelf in the end? I am sad to hear that, and you should never have to feel like that, believe me. Trust me on this, im your friend already and anytime you need to talk to someone, I am here to listen, and even though we dont know eachother very well, I would never cast you to a shelf.

Friendship beats all, and nothing could ever break me and my friends away from eachother.

I hope everything goes okay for you and your loved ones. Anytime, remember...

Great poem, although it does need some work, it will be added to MY dusty shelf of faves. Lol... Only joking with you.

Would like if you read and commented on some of my work, we have to different styles, but I think you would like them. Thanks for sharing this with us!

Always,

necrotic
| Posted on 2007-05-29 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
Ouch! How to explain. I think we have all been put in that position before and it hurts sometimes. I don't think your friend really means to do it but sometimes they get so caught up in their relationship that they ignore you completely.

I felt the same way when my friend starting going out with her boyfriend. I was happy for both of them but after a while I got tired of hearing his name coming out of her mouth. It was always him this, him that, he did this and what should I do? I wanted to be there for my friend and I was but I got tired of only being there to hear of their problems and I felt that she would not have time for mine.

The cherry came when on one October day my friend calls me to compalin about another thing he had done and she tells me that they had just come from a dance they had not invited me to. I felt hurt and a bit mad because how dare she. I was alone, my family was going away to Mexico and I had not been invited and she calls me to complain about something her boyfriend had done.

sorry went a little crazy there. I just wanted to let you know that we have all been through that. Just talk to your friend about it because if you don't you will build a little resentment towards her that I think I have built. Maybe I should go talk to my friend. Explain to her that you are hurt by what she does and that although you don't expect her to spend all of her time with you you want a little bit more of respect and she should realize that although love lasts forever friendship never ends.

Great poem. Definelty going in my faves.
| Posted on 2007-05-25 00:00:00 | by Katrinagolden | [ Reply to This ]

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