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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Writers Never Get Pussydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MyX
    ASL Info:    27/m/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 932/973/107
    Words: 235
    Class/Type: Poetry/Childrens
    Total Views: 1806
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1619



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWriters Never Get Pussydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I had a revelation
    of utmost magnificance tonight.
    It was some kind of out-of-body
    trandescending experience.
    I came out of the kitchen
    and found myself seated on the couch.
    Watching Stargate through my crooked
    glasses, with a cigarette and a
    heedlessly sadistic look on my face.
    (Just what in the fuck am I doing?)
    The front door was unlocked
    anyone could have waltzed in
    to find me here,
    like this.
    I took a seat next to myself
    and finished off the episode.
    But not before a soup line
    of the sad cold world
    begging for its last chance
    presided before us.
    Commercials of convoulted pyrimad scams,
    furnature,
    insurance, insurance fraud,
    motels, vacation opportunities,
    check cashing and bankruptcy.
    The show came back on and
    A B-actor, who was a main charactor mind you,
    took a leap of faith
    out of the comforts of the starship
    and into the boundless galaxy.
    He put his career on the line
    to save the planet.
    Or he put his life at risk,
    to get off the worst television
    program that I'd ever seen.
    Was it a courageous act of heroism?
    Or a negligent resort to end
    the total fucking embarassment?
    I didn't know exactly, I didn't
    watch the whole show.
    But looking at myself, I could
    tell he was fully intrigued.
    Myself that is.
    Did I ever tell you how much I hated television?


    -MBE




    Submitted on 2007-05-25 00:39:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      yeah just described atleast one day outta my every week
    | Posted on 2010-03-24 00:00:00 | by MINTPATTY | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah, nothing is so full of life as television. You know, I think the poets of the 21st century will be remembered as the "sensitive audience demographic." It's sort of ironic that those who claim to hate TV the most are really the ones justifying it to the nth degree, that is to say scavenging for meaningfulness and finding its bits/pieces of accidental genius. What I see in your poem is a heartfelt search for what is eminently and absurdly Real about reality shows (that is to say what passes for fiction). But I fear that sarcasm is, or rather has become, obsolete. [censored], the tone itself has been predicted by late capitalism. In this day and age, is a poem viral enough to commit its old sabotages?

    Keep writing about TV man. Love and rage, that's what the anarchists say.
    | Posted on 2009-06-07 00:00:00 | by Aaron Felix | [ Reply to This ]
      dictionary.com for your typos.

    It shouldn't matter but it actually does, and you have made some schoolboys here.

    It's not for me to check though.

    Many misplaced full stops. They seem. to stop. the flow and movement. of your work:

    'and found myself seated on the couch.
    Watching Stargate through my crooked'

    and.

    'heedlessly sadistic look on my face.
    (Just what in the [censored] am I doing?)'

    and.

    'and finished off the episode.
    But not before a soup line'
    and.

    'presided before us.
    Commercials of convoulted pyrimad scams,' [if you want the next few lines to make sense, that is]

    and.

    'to save the planet.
    Or he put his life at risk,'

    This could almost be soc, no punctuation would work better than punctuation that picks at scabs.

    This is nothing on what you have written in the past. Your sarcastic and satirical tone does not come through here at all, you seem half assed about your theme [i need to write a poem but i don't really have anything to say: I know, I'll jump on the same old bandwagon as everyone else.]

    You have not thought about structure at all and you have not thought about concept in the slightest from the start.

    Your title is good but it has very little to do with your poem so it just comes across as a call for attention.

    You have enough submissions not to have to worry about posting so I just don't get it.

    I hope this is a one off because I really like a lot of your work.

    What is it you are talking about again and why?

    Good to see you old boy.


    | Posted on 2007-09-04 00:00:00 | by on1eday.co.uk | [ Reply to This ]
      i grinned to say the least. and seeing as i just watched this movie called waking life, being outside yourself is hot on my mind. you string together words so wrly and fittingly. it always intrigues me
    | Posted on 2007-07-27 00:00:00 | by reid kat | [ Reply to This ]
      you make me laugh.

    the title. ah... the title. so very important to a piece of work (bull[censored].)(not really)(but yeah)

    your style is hot. i'd bang you. but only if you [censored] the way you write. the just-short-of-self-deprecation had me grinning wryly the whole way through. EDIT: on reread, it comes across differently. sometimes, fast and sleazy works.

    It's when you use your eloquent writing skills to describe fast and sleazy that it really makes it much more... pungent of an aroma. i know, i'm rattling on... but that's because there's really nothing for me to criticize. i'm gonna go bother learah now. miss me?
    | Posted on 2007-06-22 00:00:00 | by freeradical | [ Reply to This ]
      Yo Mikey, got a glass to hand?
    *Pours*

    Ah, how's that nostalgia taste? Pretty damn good to me....
    Been looking forward to reading MyX words again.


    So you have a moment of Earth-shattering proportions as you took a long, hard look at yourself. Do you fancy yourself a refined, wordly writer with ascerbic wit? That's the opposite of a man slobbing out before the tube, the sight that seems to have caught you by the knackers as you realise your life races past while you sink deeper into the sofa watching crap you hate.
    Stargate is the opposite of cultured and refined.
    I also watch SG-1 and hate myself for allowing Teal'c and his comrades to suck up my attention.
    But it's the story...words are words and the wordy devour them, in all their forms.
    Sure, you'd be better off reading War and Peace or updating your resume but face it, everyone's lazy. Sometimes you just gotta take the words whatever way you can.
    See, it's the fact that you retract and examine who you are and what's going on around you that makes you more than just a man slobbing out to telly.
    99% of people zone out.

    The description of the ads as a soupline is fitting. All the visuals we see feed on a needy spot in our conciousness that people fill with meaningless tat.

    So what will this poem acheive for you? Now that you detest that soulless, lazy tv slob inside you, will you live with your demands and watch more third-rate shows?
    Will you remember these words and hit the off button?

    Will we see more MyX poetry as you resist the urge of cheap entertainment and focus on your aesthetics?

    Oooh...let's see.
    | Posted on 2007-05-26 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      dude, and people say I've no filter. But, whether you do or not, this is;...hmm, touching? Yeah, it is. I see hope in this, sacrifice even. See when he lept, it was like you leeping. When you put yourself on the line, with these writes, it acts as a momentary slip from the world(the starship) but sometimes you can't help but wonder if its sincere and sacrificial, or just cause there's nothing better left. And the commercials, are like all the meeningless things that people try to pass on as being a way of enticement. Nice!
    | Posted on 2007-05-25 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]


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