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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Believe in Green and Amberdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: chemberdan
    ASL Info:    26, female, Arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 68/122/43
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 708
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 583



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBelieve in Green and Amberdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Her head was heavy with thoughts and liquid
    Rancid hopeful slurs kept falling from her mouth,

    I watched on with no sympathy
    Flashing rushed nods for a retort.

    It wasn’t enough
    For me to trace circles on her thighs.

    She wants to believe in green and amber,
    And harness all the comfort that accompanies security.

    Save it for devastation
    Put it aside, ‘just in case.’

    It will probably never be used,
    But still she wants to believe in green and amber.





    Submitted on 2007-05-25 03:37:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I don't really have a clue, but you have some fine poetic phrasing throughout this poem ... so all in all I do like it ... bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... michael
    | Posted on 2007-06-06 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really quite good. a fave. nothing i see to crit here.

    excellent work!

    joe
    | Posted on 2007-06-06 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a little bit "jaded" - if you pardon the pun

    I love the minimalistic yet captivating language and it has an almost seductive feel to it.

    I also really liked the laugh from your picture! he he he

    Very colorful!

    love,peace,joy&smiles to share

    tif
    | Posted on 2007-05-25 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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