[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Believe in Green and Amberdots

    Author: chemberdan
    ASL Info:    26, female, Arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 68/122/43
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 694
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 583


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBelieve in Green and Amberdots

    Her head was heavy with thoughts and liquid
    Rancid hopeful slurs kept falling from her mouth,

    I watched on with no sympathy
    Flashing rushed nods for a retort.

    It wasn’t enough
    For me to trace circles on her thighs.

    She wants to believe in green and amber,
    And harness all the comfort that accompanies security.

    Save it for devastation
    Put it aside, ‘just in case.’

    It will probably never be used,
    But still she wants to believe in green and amber.

    Submitted on 2007-05-25 03:37:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I don't really have a clue, but you have some fine poetic phrasing throughout this poem ... so all in all I do like it ... bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... michael
    | Posted on 2007-06-06 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is really quite good. a fave. nothing i see to crit here.

    excellent work!

    | Posted on 2007-06-06 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a little bit "jaded" - if you pardon the pun

    I love the minimalistic yet captivating language and it has an almost seductive feel to it.

    I also really liked the laugh from your picture! he he he

    Very colorful!

    love,peace,joy&smiles to share

    | Posted on 2007-05-25 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Summer written by layDsayD
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Every..... written by jackz
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Push written by JanePlane
    Bond written by saartha
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Fasade written by jackz
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Linger written by saartha
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]