Blood…
The blood…
Wash off all the blood
He…
How could…
How could he do this to me?
Trust…
My trust…
He betrayed my trust
Love…
I love…
He told me he loved me
Face…
How could…
How can I face anyone?
Done…
Did this…
He did this to me
Knife…
The knife…
He cut me with his knife
Love…
Come here…
He'd begged me to go with him
Do…
What was…
What was I supposed to do?
No…
You can't…
How can you do this to me?
Him…
Not him..
Don't make me face him
After…
After this…
Not after he did this
Knife…
That knife…
With the knife that I gave him
No…
Please stop…
He just wouldn't listen
I
I can't
I couldn't stop him
Why…
Did I…
Did I do this?
Fault …
My fault…
Was it all my fault?
Tease…
Don't tease…
I teased him into this
Slut …
You whore…
Don't blame him for this
Clothes…
Sexy clothes…
I wore sexy outfits
Tempt…
Don't tempt…
I tempted him into this
Help…
Help me…
He couldn't help himself
Blame…
Not me…
I'm the one to blame
Blood…
The blood…
There's so much blood
Shh…
Don't tell…
Won't believe me if I tell
Rape…
Not him…
He couldn't have raped me
You…
Your fault…
They'll say it's all my fault
Tease!
Whore!
Slut!
Him?
Help!
Come…
Blood
Knife
Shh…….
This was pretty potent. All the thoughts running through this victims mind. And what does it all boil down to? Self-blame. The worst thing I can say about this piece is that it is true. It reeks and stinks from the truth. The injustice and the disgusting fact that people most often blame the woman or try to paint her as some sort of object that deserves what she gets. It is exactly like you were possessed by the soul of one of these poor women. The trauma was evident.
omg ice this is soo powerful! it is thickly laden with emotion and personality. I love the style and the line breaks. The repetition helps the strengthen the message, it does not take away from it at all. I wouldnt change a thing. This is such a departure from your usual style, an evolution of sorts...I like ;) keep going
this is pretty good. You see the confussion through the broken lines of thought. Not one of my favs because the repitition got annoying but i thonk you did a good job conveying the point. Your right it is always made to sound as if it is the victims fault until they themselves even believe that. Good job.
It is extremely powerful! It is what you have created, which is quite original in the way you have formed it. I stand and applaud this piece, and I only say this to work that I hold in high regards. :)
Although… it was fragmented it … bears its… Own since of personal style Cool! Emotions that leap! Living! Poem. Kind… of like something different……. enjoyed much I did!
Submission Name: Blood
