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2.48 - 81/51/27
Since you think that beauty lies within
Could you tell my why you can't look past my scars?
It was you who said your love goes on for miles
why is it then that you must you stop at 50 yards?
Considering that its you whos always gonna be there for me
tell me why again doesn't that include when I am behind bars?
Baby if your love was ever lasting and all your lies were true
I shouldn’t need another man and I wouldn’t hate you...
Submitted on 2007-05-25 22:50:49
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2: I dunno...
4: Pretty cool
||| Comments |||
i guess there were too much situations involved in your poem that it just distorts the emotion involved. it was just evident with the last line.
play with your words to let out the real emotion.
thanks for the read!
| Posted on 2007-05-27 00:00:00 | by
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This was alright but the flow and the choices of words didn't fit very well...I like the idea you had behind this but there alot of improvemnt to fix this piece..
well hope to hear from you and keep writing....
| Posted on 2007-05-26 00:00:00 | by
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5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
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