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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: broken minddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: brokenbylove
    ASL Info:    20/m/australia
    Elite Ratio:    1.47 - 60/202/175
    Words: 75
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 106
    Average Vote:    4.3333
    Bytes: 462



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsbroken minddots
    -------------------------------------------


    beneath the surface a torrent is moving
    a war of emotions waging inside me
    my mind is a battleground
    struggling to stay sane
    tears in my eyes, im always wrong
    im always in the dark
    how can i compete with all the thoughts running though my head
    every moment that passes more of me dies
    till theres nothing left to lose
    nothing left to give up
    all i have is this broken mind....





    Submitted on 2007-05-26 04:08:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like it. You keep it simple and state what you are feeling, why add extras if they were not there when you were feeling these words. Like it lots.
    | Posted on 2007-05-26 00:00:00 | by juvia | [ Reply to This ]
      its okay but apart from the imagery which is simple its good but would have been better if you invoved more imageries and figures of speech you thats why it called poetry but it good keep it up peace
    | Posted on 2007-05-26 00:00:00 | by kingsley | [ Reply to This ]


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