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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: memorysdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cricket
    ASL Info:    19/F/Texas
    Elite Ratio:    2.48 - 81/51/27
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 662
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 898



    Description:
       guess...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmemorysdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sun bleached cement tattooed with fault lines
    Dust, leaves, and candy rappers
    Scattered about hiding in crevasses

    Four legged black beast crouching low
    Rusted chain hanging loosely below a massive head
    Golden brown eyes staring intently at an object in the distance

    Through slightly gaping pierced lips
    Glimpse of curved ivory fangs
    Speckled tongue free flowing saliva

    Seemingly lifeless body dressed in ebony and crimson
    Skin with so many scars they blend into one
    Fire red hair grey green eyes blazing

    Blood red lips parted
    Just enough for the gleaming platinum object between them
    Crimson rain drops every where

    Invisible tears cried for a lost soul
    Stolen glances into a tormented mind
    Possible glimpse of a far away smile




    Submitted on 2007-05-26 14:48:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Damn, I like the imagery. I see a kind of cross between a dog and a sabertooth tiger on the saltflats (forgot where exactly those were...nevada?) and standing over a fresh kill and gazing out over the landscape and seeing the flash of his mate's smile.

    I like it. It sounds like there's a lot more story behind it. "stolen glances into a tormented mind" suggests, to me, that the kill I mentioned above wasn't made out of plain hunger or mirth, but out of defence or for the good of the world.

    I espically like "Fire red hair grey green eyes blazing" 'cause I've got long 'flaming' red hair and green eyes Although I'm not so sure what that character's all about, I do like "memorys"

    PS: Thanks for the comment on "Look at me Now."
    | Posted on 2007-06-22 00:00:00 | by Zai | [ Reply to This ]


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