[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: She isn't medots

    Author: Poetic_tragedy6
    ASL Info:    25/F/OR
    Elite Ratio:    2.65 - 114/155/74
    Words: 143
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 830
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 933

       This is for my secret love... For my Travy

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShe isn't medots

    Your blonde hair
    Those loving eyes
    causing me to want you
    Leaving me to cry

    Your voice send chills
    Down my spine
    Waiting for the day
    When you can be mine

    We joke around
    I play with your hair
    But your with her now
    And it seems as if I'm not there

    She is everything you wanted
    As beautiful as can be
    The only heartbreaking part
    Is that she isn't me

    I've been there for you
    From the very start
    The day I met you
    was the day you took my heart

    Now I'm stuck on the sideline
    Of you and your romance
    As I'm listening and watching
    Alone, dancing this slow dance

    Now I can't help but cry
    And when your around I'm without a spine
    And I wish and pray
    For you to be mine...

    Submitted on 2007-05-26 17:50:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      the situation/s involved in this poem were too clear for the readers. you might want to add a little suspense or indirect imagery to excite feelings. this kind of emotion can be very powerful in poetry if you're going to play your words right.

    thanks for the read!

    | Posted on 2007-05-27 00:00:00 | by solitary_cross | [ Reply to This ]
      although this is really cliché, it seems to always work.
    because crushes and love are usually described in the same exact way, so it just ends up sounding the same.
    i completely don't understand the title.
    uhm.. i totally know how you feel about it all being a secret.

    | Posted on 2007-05-26 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]
      This was alright the usage of the words are too simple (im such hyprotict) useing more words descripitve words more thought thte piece and paint a better picutre for the reader other than that good job

    well hope to hear from you and keep writing

    | Posted on 2007-05-26 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Because of You written by poetotoe
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Linger written by saartha
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bond written by saartha
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Fasade written by jackz
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    True Death written by layDsayD




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]