Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: She isn't medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Poetic_tragedy6
    ASL Info:    25/F/OR
    Elite Ratio:    2.65 - 114/155/74
    Words: 143
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 782
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 933



    Description:
       This is for my secret love... For my Travy


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShe isn't medots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your blonde hair
    Those loving eyes
    causing me to want you
    Leaving me to cry

    Your voice send chills
    Down my spine
    Waiting for the day
    When you can be mine

    We joke around
    I play with your hair
    But your with her now
    And it seems as if I'm not there

    She is everything you wanted
    As beautiful as can be
    The only heartbreaking part
    Is that she isn't me

    I've been there for you
    From the very start
    The day I met you
    was the day you took my heart

    Now I'm stuck on the sideline
    Of you and your romance
    As I'm listening and watching
    Alone, dancing this slow dance

    Now I can't help but cry
    And when your around I'm without a spine
    And I wish and pray
    For you to be mine...




    Submitted on 2007-05-26 17:50:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      the situation/s involved in this poem were too clear for the readers. you might want to add a little suspense or indirect imagery to excite feelings. this kind of emotion can be very powerful in poetry if you're going to play your words right.

    thanks for the read!

    solitary-|-
    | Posted on 2007-05-27 00:00:00 | by solitary_cross | [ Reply to This ]
      although this is really cliché, it seems to always work.
    because crushes and love are usually described in the same exact way, so it just ends up sounding the same.
    i completely don't understand the title.
    uhm.. i totally know how you feel about it all being a secret.
    Peace<3

    <bleedingtears>
    | Posted on 2007-05-26 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]
      This was alright the usage of the words are too simple (im such hyprotict) useing more words descripitve words more thought thte piece and paint a better picutre for the reader other than that good job

    well hope to hear from you and keep writing

    Max
    | Posted on 2007-05-26 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    143395

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Love written by saartha
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Records I written by Raphael
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Etiquette written by saartha
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Shi written by ShyOne
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Journey written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry