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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: She isn't medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Poetic_tragedy6
    ASL Info:    25/F/OR
    Elite Ratio:    2.65 - 114/155/74
    Words: 143
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 953
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 933



    Description:
       This is for my secret love... For my Travy


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShe isn't medots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your blonde hair
    Those loving eyes
    causing me to want you
    Leaving me to cry

    Your voice send chills
    Down my spine
    Waiting for the day
    When you can be mine

    We joke around
    I play with your hair
    But your with her now
    And it seems as if I'm not there

    She is everything you wanted
    As beautiful as can be
    The only heartbreaking part
    Is that she isn't me

    I've been there for you
    From the very start
    The day I met you
    was the day you took my heart

    Now I'm stuck on the sideline
    Of you and your romance
    As I'm listening and watching
    Alone, dancing this slow dance

    Now I can't help but cry
    And when your around I'm without a spine
    And I wish and pray
    For you to be mine...




    Submitted on 2007-05-26 17:50:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      the situation/s involved in this poem were too clear for the readers. you might want to add a little suspense or indirect imagery to excite feelings. this kind of emotion can be very powerful in poetry if you're going to play your words right.

    thanks for the read!

    solitary-|-
    | Posted on 2007-05-27 00:00:00 | by solitary_cross | [ Reply to This ]
      although this is really cliché, it seems to always work.
    because crushes and love are usually described in the same exact way, so it just ends up sounding the same.
    i completely don't understand the title.
    uhm.. i totally know how you feel about it all being a secret.
    Peace<3

    <bleedingtears>
    | Posted on 2007-05-26 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]
      This was alright the usage of the words are too simple (im such hyprotict) useing more words descripitve words more thought thte piece and paint a better picutre for the reader other than that good job

    well hope to hear from you and keep writing

    Max
    | Posted on 2007-05-26 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]


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