Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: She isn't medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Poetic_tragedy6
    ASL Info:    25/F/OR
    Elite Ratio:    2.65 - 114/155/74
    Words: 143
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 936
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 933



    Description:
       This is for my secret love... For my Travy


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShe isn't medots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your blonde hair
    Those loving eyes
    causing me to want you
    Leaving me to cry

    Your voice send chills
    Down my spine
    Waiting for the day
    When you can be mine

    We joke around
    I play with your hair
    But your with her now
    And it seems as if I'm not there

    She is everything you wanted
    As beautiful as can be
    The only heartbreaking part
    Is that she isn't me

    I've been there for you
    From the very start
    The day I met you
    was the day you took my heart

    Now I'm stuck on the sideline
    Of you and your romance
    As I'm listening and watching
    Alone, dancing this slow dance

    Now I can't help but cry
    And when your around I'm without a spine
    And I wish and pray
    For you to be mine...




    Submitted on 2007-05-26 17:50:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      the situation/s involved in this poem were too clear for the readers. you might want to add a little suspense or indirect imagery to excite feelings. this kind of emotion can be very powerful in poetry if you're going to play your words right.

    thanks for the read!

    solitary-|-
    | Posted on 2007-05-27 00:00:00 | by solitary_cross | [ Reply to This ]
      although this is really cliché, it seems to always work.
    because crushes and love are usually described in the same exact way, so it just ends up sounding the same.
    i completely don't understand the title.
    uhm.. i totally know how you feel about it all being a secret.
    Peace<3

    <bleedingtears>
    | Posted on 2007-05-26 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]
      This was alright the usage of the words are too simple (im such hyprotict) useing more words descripitve words more thought thte piece and paint a better picutre for the reader other than that good job

    well hope to hear from you and keep writing

    Max
    | Posted on 2007-05-26 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    143395

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    Incubus written by monad
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Stretto written by saartha
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry