Starts With an 'S' and Ends with 'X by lebeauvide

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Submission Name: Starts With an 'S' and Ends with 'X dots

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Author:	lebeauvide
Elite Ratio:	2.88 - 75/183/87
Words:	101

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	211
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	713

Description:
To me, this is how I would describe sex. It is not love, it does not mean you're in love, but when you are in love, it is the best thing that could ever happen to you. The bond is so strong, and that is what love is. A bond unbreakable.

Starts With an 'S' and Ends with 'X dots

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Sweet surrender,
Such passion,
An escape...
From the lonliness that builds up after days without you...
The joining of two bodies,
Uniting for love,
in love,
making love...
Naked souls intwined.
Masks cast away,
and skin bared before unjudging eyes...
Is anything more beautiful?
A three-letter word...
that brings a billion emotions...
All of them so good,
Yet so terrifying.
Laying down your soul before the person that you love the most.

This is what love is.
Giving someone the power to create or destroy you, and praying that they'll make the right choice.

Submitted on 2007-05-26 22:58:10 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
This is very interesting.... I do disagree with you though when you say that love is sorts of an unbreakable thing.... I mean, from were I am standing love can be easily broken.... Just a few words can spoilt it completely.... in a way this is one of the ideas that I'm trying to get a across in my latest write ... as for criticism ..I'd say that you might want to think about putting this in a poem format because this seems to be just a bunch of emotions that do not really say much or it's rather hard to follow, to be more precise, owing to the way they have been organized.... I firmly think that you could make up a wonderful poem out of this piece if you worked on line breaks and the length of each line. I did enjoy lines such this ones:

"Masks cast away, and skin bared before unjudging eyes..."

And

"A three letter word that brings three billion emotions"

Perhaps one way to start fixing this would be to cut this into 2 for instance:

"A three - lettered word
that brings a billion emotions" just a suggestion.

I do apologize if you have no intentions in changing any of it ... maybe you meant it that way.... if that's so just neglect everything I've just said ....

I guess I've said more than enough....

Take care and smile!

Ethan

| Posted on 2007-05-27 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]

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