[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: the slippery cranes of my blooddots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 258
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 542
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1611


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe slippery cranes of my blooddots

    i rose
    & the flower bejeweled
    with a lions paw
    of wondrous enamour
    slipped from my tongue
    like the resting eagles
    of your swollen eye

    i wonder briefly
    & the wasting earth
    i've inhaled along the way
    being known
    & having known
    are never far enough away

    with growing disinterest
    i continue breathing
    & every day
    is a new way to leave behind
    the madness that always grows anew
    & the slippery cranes of my blood
    that move slower with the coming storm

    if i've grieved a lifetime
    it hasn't been my own
    though suffering is relative,
    as am i,
    so too must the positive
    prove what isn't there

    grave a little closer to me
    with your beasts of clean relief
    i wish to see the moon
    in your eyes again
    & walk right on through
    to the inside
    of your impoverished heart
    what i see is what i get
    but only when i'm not looking

    there will come a time
    when the solidity of my certainty
    will catch up with us
    when my lovers lies
    & my very own
    will be something to pass on
    to no one in paticular
    the perfect time to fall apart
    is when everything is breaking

    i'll show you the inside of your own skin
    pulsing in the red wind of my lungs expulsions

    Submitted on 2007-05-27 13:21:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      sorry I haven't been commenting or posting..

    The first stanza sounded soo beautiful although I didn't understand what you really meant. reading it was just bomb


    excellent excellent
    | Posted on 2007-05-29 00:00:00 | by Ani | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]