[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: the slippery cranes of my blooddots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 258
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 546
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1611


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe slippery cranes of my blooddots

    i rose
    & the flower bejeweled
    with a lions paw
    of wondrous enamour
    slipped from my tongue
    like the resting eagles
    of your swollen eye

    i wonder briefly
    & the wasting earth
    i've inhaled along the way
    being known
    & having known
    are never far enough away

    with growing disinterest
    i continue breathing
    & every day
    is a new way to leave behind
    the madness that always grows anew
    & the slippery cranes of my blood
    that move slower with the coming storm

    if i've grieved a lifetime
    it hasn't been my own
    though suffering is relative,
    as am i,
    so too must the positive
    prove what isn't there

    grave a little closer to me
    with your beasts of clean relief
    i wish to see the moon
    in your eyes again
    & walk right on through
    to the inside
    of your impoverished heart
    what i see is what i get
    but only when i'm not looking

    there will come a time
    when the solidity of my certainty
    will catch up with us
    when my lovers lies
    & my very own
    will be something to pass on
    to no one in paticular
    the perfect time to fall apart
    is when everything is breaking

    i'll show you the inside of your own skin
    pulsing in the red wind of my lungs expulsions

    Submitted on 2007-05-27 13:21:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      sorry I haven't been commenting or posting..

    The first stanza sounded soo beautiful although I didn't understand what you really meant. reading it was just bomb


    excellent excellent
    | Posted on 2007-05-29 00:00:00 | by Ani | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Records I written by Raphael
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    prison written by ShyOne
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]