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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Over Againdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SnakeBite7
    ASL Info:    17/M/NJ
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 87/132/57
    Words: 198
    Class/Type: Lyrics/
    Total Views: 125
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1068



    Description:
       No comment on it really, first full song I wrote in awhile, think Sick Puppies when you read it.
    Dat it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOver Againdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Over and over again I see your image rushing into my head
    With a force that could tear down the door to my sanity
    Hypocrisy is making me fail to see
    I am the one who you call your lover, your best friend
    But we just walk past each other, over and over again
    Why is it that I just can’t take what you said
    And give you my heart, over and over again
    I hear the voices of past days and choices and
    I fail to comprehend that this happened again and
    I don’t want to feel what isn’t so real but
    Your eyes close, time slows, and you know what I cannot show
    I am the one who you call your lover, your best friend
    But we just walk past each other, over and over again
    Why is it that I just can’t take what you said
    And give you my heart, over and over again
    Is it really so hard, or is my mind broken into shards
    Fragments of feelings confidence is fleeting
    Don’t tell me you love me I said
    Unless you plan on saying it over and over again.




    Submitted on 2007-05-27 14:51:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Very nice job, I like this piece a lot. The best kinds of writing are the ones you can relate to the most, and quite honestly I can here. I like the repitition and flow, it definitely works. One thing I've noticed is your works are very real and personal, I like that. Awesome job, keep up the great writing! :)

    Cris
    | Posted on 2008-07-30 00:00:00 | by my_worst_fear85 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this, Duff. And it's good to read something of yours since I haven't for a while. I think punctuation would help a lot here. Especially in the last couple lines with the 'I said'. I was confused as to what you were saying. Whether it was before the 'I said' or after. I hope you understood that, being as I didn't say it very eloquently. Anyway, like I said, this is real great. It's easily relatable (if that is indeed a word) which makes it enjoyable to read.

    "Your eyes close, time slows, and you know what I cannot show"

    I absolutly love that line. Powerful and worded very well.

    It also ended very nicely giving the 'over and over' line a new spin towards it.

    Overall, pretty brilliant piece. Kudos, and I will see you around.

    -Sandi
    | Posted on 2007-05-29 00:00:00 | by Dimension_X | [ Reply to This ]



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