[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Senses of the Song (Revised)dots

    Author: Specdro
    ASL Info:    28/Of Course/NY
    Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 21/53/38
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1053
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 472

       I can not sing, I can not hold a rhythm.
    But I can write poetry about my love and passion.

    -Revision Note-
    After a suggestion on the length of a word I changed it to a better fit.

    "The tune I familiarly know" to "The tune I already know"

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSenses of the Song (Revised)dots

    To be deaf would be like death
    Not to hear the music flow.
    To be blind and never find
    The tune I already know.

    To never feel the beat so real
    A life like that would be wrong.
    To never speak more then a squeak
    And never, sing you your song.

    A life with out rhythm I won’t be given
    Because I know I wouldn’t survive
    As I tap my toe, I already know
    I am here and I am alive.

    Submitted on 2007-05-27 16:14:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow, definitely better!!! really good, i enjoyed reading this a lot
    | Posted on 2007-05-28 00:00:00 | by freeangel | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this as it has such passion, the metre with "familiarly" needs tightening a bit but apart from that i really enjoyed reading it.
    | Posted on 2007-05-27 00:00:00 | by freeangel | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]