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    dots Submission Name: Triangular Treacherydots

    Author: Lunablue
    ASL Info:    24/F/LA
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 94/71/10
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 828
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 734


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTriangular Treacherydots

    I keep finding dried-up, dead flowers stuck to my car

    pasted there from a long drive and the noon sun.

    The rain tore them down from their leafy limbs

    on the trees outside your girlfriend's house

    during a brief downpour yesterday

    while we were holed-up inside

    fucking each other

    in her bed.

    Submitted on 2007-05-27 22:35:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Good title: At the beginning, you had me fooled for a second... and then, POW! What a finish! Very good stuff.
    | Posted on 2009-03-27 00:00:00 | by Meifumado | [ Reply to This ]
      Heh, heh! I don't know whether to feel good for you or bad for the girlfriend! This was different, and touches the same nerve that makes us laugh at the comics where someone else is getting clobbered! There is genius at work here, even thought I don't think you intended it!
    | Posted on 2008-07-13 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      wow very nice lunablue... this was a great write and a first for the whole "trianglar" writing style.
    10 out of 10 on creativity. really dig the direct stlye u used.

    "[censored] each other in her bed"

    this line sounds like the narrator hates the girlfriend...
    any way great write

    | Posted on 2007-08-23 00:00:00 | by Sun | [ Reply to This ]
      hehe, awesome.

    Sounds... mischevious....
    I love it, and it shall be on my fave's too.

    Your outstanding, you know that?

    I hope you pursue this talent.

    (pursue? sp?)

    | Posted on 2007-06-01 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]

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