Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: smoking the airdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lolavie
    ASL Info:    23/female/Michigan
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 70/175/103
    Words: 35
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 834
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 295



    Description:
       U ever just stood in one place outside and just looked about and thought without much thought...sounds confusing....but ya know..to just absorb in the almost peacful silence just as one smokes a cigarette in solitude. Comment people! Thanks!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssmoking the airdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The words of strangers
    experience beforehand
    free samples
    Smoking the air
    The sounds of the world
    memorized snapshots
    then exhale
    Smoking the air
    Wisest one alive
    become the mindreader
    no filter
    Smoking the air




    Submitted on 2004-06-15 10:02:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      My last moment before I must move back to the more mundane creativities of me life.

    I won't interpret (I'm going to give plenty on other poems as you know), but merely comment. I spent most of this morn smoking the air as you put it, from the moment I finished speaking to you to the moment I returned to view your art.

    It brought a smile in any case to see that while I walked about it was in a way talked about, despite whatever intent you might have had (and yes I know it isn't about me, but as I say, to be a reader you must make words your own, even recklessly so).

    As mentioned by others it can be expanded, as it is there a couple of different threads to be picked out, neither of which taken as far as it could be. It stands as it is, but right now it is a cigarrette when it could be a cigar (not that I smoke).
    | Posted on 2004-06-15 00:00:00 | by DocJonathan | [ Reply to This ]
      interesting concept and approach...I got a good visual from this. I think NicelyJ has a point about expanding it, not too much, but I thought I needed maybe a few more descriptive lines to really do it for me.. nice read..
    | Posted on 2004-06-15 00:00:00 | by Kristina9178 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this piece. I think it is quite original. I wish you could expand this piece, but not necessarily because it needs it, but out of my own selfish want. I can't really add anything constructive.
    Very nice
    | Posted on 2004-06-15 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    14372

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry