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    dots Submission Name: Yet Again Left.. Brokenhearteddots

    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/380
    Words: 705
    Class/Type: Rant/Betrayal
    Total Views: 852
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 4260

       I actually made an assumption this afternoon.. and I cannot believe just how wrong I was, and just to the extent of how much my point on NOT having expectations, nor making assumptions was proven this afternoon

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYet Again Left.. Brokenhearteddots

    You called this afternoon..
    A call made out of the fact I had called you.

    The duration of this call only lasted 20min
    If that.

    Yet the effect of this call
    Had me going in a spiral downward direction for much longer than that!

    **For this call my friends was
    deceiving on so many levels**

    I called you because I was inviting you to my graduation.. and ultimately my wedding.
    This call was a good one, I had expectation... more so an assumption

    **And there is where I went wrong.**

    We spoke the topics I had called for
    Then we began to come off topic...

    **Here it begins to get interesting**

    We discuss the current situation at hand,
    a very disturbing sticky situation,
    spoken with caustion not wanting to misunderstand one another.

    **Here is where you killed a part
    of me**

    I spoke to you of although throughout my life as a child,
    Growing up you were not around
    Although this occured that I never allowed you to be absent

    I always thought of you first on that holiday made to celebrate people such as yourself
    I'd even called to wish a great and wonderfull day
    Or a song come on the radio and its something you'd listen to you...

    You came to my mind,
    As well as a smile to my face

    I told you I'm willing to allow bygones be bygones
    And leave the past where it belongs and that is excatly that..

    In the past

    I mention to you how I'd like to make up for lost time,
    Get to know you, just as to get to know me.
    Growing up I lost out on having you around,
    Just as you lost out on passing down a part of yourself to me... as you worded in the phone converstation

    We both managed to grab the short end of the stick
    But it happends...

    I told you straight out I want a relationship with you,
    I want what was wrongfully taken from me at a young age,
    I want to get to know the real you
    As I was hoping you wanted to get to know.. the real me.

    Because just as you kept telling... me insisting to me how you LOST OUT
    I wanted for us to NOT loose out on the rest of what could be a relationship

    **And here it comes**

    I told you to take what I have said into your heart and come to me when a decision has came to mind.
    Please don't have a relationship with me just because it would mean a lot to me
    Please do not lie to me to spare me of my feelings
    Please ... please understand I'd like the past to be that.. and nothing more..

    Actually, Jacquelyn I've done a lot of my own thinking..
    I have a lot going on in my life right now


    I have not been around in the past,
    I wasn't able to see you grow up,
    I just feel as if it will not work out...

    Dad, you torn my heart out this afternoon
    Or at least whats left of it..
    You torn it out and threw it back in my face for the assumpation I had made..

    Shame on you for hurting me once..

    Shame on you for hurting me twice..

    And, shame on me for allowing you

    to hurt me theird

    time in a row

    Submitted on 2007-05-30 20:03:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      That was very unexpected, lol. I thought it was going to be an old friend or something. Still commenting! Even though I'm a crap stalker! lol, Shadow
    | Posted on 2007-06-04 00:00:00 | by Shadow24968 | [ Reply to This ]
      If I could put mine and my mothers relationship in words this would be it. Always a great build up then they drop the mat out from under you. I think this is a really great piece about assumptions and getting knocked down. I have come to terms with the fact that my mom nots gonna be there, but I think its always gonna hurt. Hope yours goes better. Ria
    | Posted on 2007-05-31 00:00:00 | by ria_pixie | [ Reply to This ]
      If people only knew what they were missing out on... If they realized or cared how their actions affected otheres... maybe.. MAYBE... the human race wouldn't be made up of such complete [censored]. There ae some good people left, a few diamonds in the rough, but basically we are dogs. Garbage. Selfish, hurtful, deceitful, weak and emotionless sewage. A parasitic life-form which does NOT deserve the blessings God gives us. I wish I could tell you something that might make you feel better, but the fact is: Your father is definitely not one of the diamonds in the rough. But baby...

    YOU ARE.

    And I love you so very much.

    | Posted on 2007-05-30 00:00:00 | by Wired | [ Reply to This ]

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