You called this afternoon..
A call made out of the fact I had called you.
of this call only lasted 20min
Yet the effect of this call
Had me going in a spiral downward direction for much longer than that!
**For this call my friends was
deceiving on so many levels**
I called you because I was inviting you to my graduation.. and ultimately my wedding.
This call was a good one, I had expectation... more so an assumption
**And there is where I went wrong.**
We spoke the topics I had called for
Then we began to come off topic...
**Here it begins to get interesting**
We discuss the current situation at hand,
a very disturbing sticky situation,
spoken with caustion not wanting to misunderstand one another.
**Here is where you killed a part
I spoke to you of although throughout my life as a child,
Growing up you were not around
Although this occured that I never allowed you to be absent
I always thought of you first on that holiday made to celebrate people such as yourself
I'd even called to wish a great and wonderfull day
Or a song come on the radio and its something you'd listen to you...
You came to my mind,
As well as a smile to my face
I told you I'm willing to allow bygones be bygones
And leave the past where it belongs and that is excatly that..
In the past
I mention to you how I'd like to make up for lost time,
Get to know you, just as to get to know me.
Growing up I lost out on having you around,
Just as you lost out on passing down a part of yourself to me... as you worded in the phone converstation
We both managed to grab the short end of the stick
But it happends...
I told you straight out I want a relationship with you,
I want what was wrongfully taken from me at a young age,
I want to get to know the real you
As I was hoping you wanted to get to know.. the real me.
Because just as you kept telling... me insisting to me how you LOST OUT
I wanted for us to NOT loose out on the rest of what could be a relationship
**And here it comes**
I told you to take what I have said into your heart and come to me when a decision has came to mind.
don't have a relationship with me just because it would mean a lot to me
do not lie to me to spare me of my feelings
Please ... please
understand I'd like the past to be that.. and nothing more..
Actually, Jacquelyn I've done a lot of my own thinking..
I have a lot going on in my life right now
**DATING YOUR AUNT**
I have not been around in the past,
I wasn't able to see you grow up,
I just feel as if it will not work out...
Dad, you torn my heart out this afternoon
Or at least whats left of it..
You torn it out and threw it back in my face for the assumpation I had made..
Shame on you for hurting me once..
Shame on you for hurting me twice..
And, shame on me for allowing you
to hurt me theird
time in a row