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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Some Yellow Bridgedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: emo-tastic
    Elite Ratio:    3.54 - 571/566/128
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 983
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 790



    Description:
       


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    dotsSome Yellow Bridgedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Down under some yellow bridge
    we convene where the water is still
    around trash cans
    and graffiti sanctuaries.

    I am a funeral pyre
    load me up
    light me up
    and push me out

    the only source of heat
    amid all this godforsaken
    mildew, dampness, acceptance
    I drown out the yellow
    of the faded concrete

    and sometimes I fancy
    myself a Jim to your Huck

    but for now Iíll just burn
    and burn out
    instead of facing forward,
    Iíll face up

    My correlation to yellow is nothing once I start reminding you of death.

    I let go of the bridge
    you let go of my wooden frame
    I am embracing my salty future.




    Submitted on 2007-05-30 22:02:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This reminds me of a relationship between a man and his cigarette. There is a certain sense of romantic irrationality in it... a "no-giving-a-rats-ass" outlook towards the reality they are faced with.

    And there are no vicitms here. Just two divided entities trying to find comfort from each other. And there is a respectable level of understanding in the middle of it all...

    "I let go of the bridge
    you let go of my wooden frame
    I am embracing my salty future"

    ...as if ends of everything are inevitable enough for one to be contented with the simple pleasures of still waters and graffitti sanctuaries.

    Atleast... that's how it connects with me.

    Anyway, I like the way this poem maintains its composure towards the end. I, personally, have a tendency to go overboard and ruin the entire thing but I'm glad that you didn't succumb to that. I can picture this piece being overdone towards the end... but I'm glad for its refinement.

    I also loved how the combination of your word choice and imagery depicted a sophisticated trashiness.

    Here's to you...








    ..
    | Posted on 2007-06-01 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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