Let me start out by saying not bad. Keep it up, keep writing and writing your skills will improve. Being appart of this community is a huge step towards perfection as well. There are a lot of talented people here.
In my opinion, every writer has his/her own.. format if you will. There are many different forms of peotry, it doesn't have to rhyme, but it needs to flow. If you go through some of the work around here, you'll find that a mojority of the authors write in a consistant 'format'. Personally I don't believe there is a wrong or right... but the first step is finding what works for you, find your gorve. To get an idea of what I mean try- http://www.types-of-poetry.org.uk/
I won't bore you too much more, but don't restrict your writings to the vocabulary your so used to in every day life. When your writing, and come across a common word, open up a thesaurus/ http://www.thesaurus.com
Brighten up your poem/writing with vibrant brilliant words.