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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Somthing That I can't Explaindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 120
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 799
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 815



    Description:
       Yeah this is rough draft soi i would like it if you just pic it to pieces and gave me some helpfull adive....So yeah thanks

    Max


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSomthing That I can't Explaindots
    -------------------------------------------


    Nothing in my life
    bright's up my day more
    then by hearing your hypnotizing voice

    Every word
    Every thought
    Every Emotion
    I Hold close to my heart.

    The day is to come
    to when I can hold my angel once again
    the Angel who help me get my life untangled.
    While my hope and dreams where all mangled
    in the net of depression.

    Every word
    Every thought
    Every Emotion
    I Hold close to my heart.

    These words I write,
    are just a start of what im trying to explain
    To you on how much i truly do Love you.

    Every word........

    Every thought .........

    Every Emotion........

    I Hold close to my heart............




    Submitted on 2007-05-31 17:13:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      aww.. amazing write love it!! its home for me as i'm sure it dose to most of your readers!

    ~!*jackie*!~
    | Posted on 2007-06-01 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey dude,
    Let me start out by saying not bad. Keep it up, keep writing and writing your skills will improve. Being appart of this community is a huge step towards perfection as well. There are a lot of talented people here.

    In my opinion, every writer has his/her own.. format if you will. There are many different forms of peotry, it doesn't have to rhyme, but it needs to flow. If you go through some of the work around here, you'll find that a mojority of the authors write in a consistant 'format'. Personally I don't believe there is a wrong or right... but the first step is finding what works for you, find your gorve. To get an idea of what I mean try- http://www.types-of-poetry.org.uk/

    I won't bore you too much more, but don't restrict your writings to the vocabulary your so used to in every day life. When your writing, and come across a common word, open up a thesaurus/ http://www.thesaurus.com
    Brighten up your poem/writing with vibrant brilliant words.

    Anyway Man, keep it up.
    -Kyle
    | Posted on 2007-05-31 00:00:00 | by Broken Halo | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    143931

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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